Thursday, March 7, 2013

 When we want to do something that will affect others—not in the most positive light—do we have the right to proceed without regard to how others will be affected? IMHO, I don’t believe so. I’m big on responsibility, respect and carrying on. As far as I’m concerned, to carrying on without regard to how others might be affected is just plain irresponsible, rude and immature.

I liken it to something a naïve teenager might do—ya know, act impulsively. After all, doesn’t the majority of a teen’s existence resolve around self-serving wants with little to no thought given to how others might be impacted by their actions?

But as adults, we’re held to a higher standard—or so we should be. As adults, we need to look at the big picture. Take into account how our actions will affect all those involved, not just how they’ll serve our immediate desires.

There are times when, as adults, we must look deeper. Take a stand. Allow certain things to go down without challenging them in the hopes that—in the long run—doing so will lighten the load of those affected.

Not that we can stop those we care about from being affected. We can’t. Not that we wouldn’t do everything in our power to stop them from being adversely affected. We would. But life doesn’t play “fair.” As such, there are times we must let certain things happen to those we care about in order to spare them further heartache.

Of course, there in lies the question. When do we remove our silence gag and reveal what we know for the greater good of those we care about? Do we do so in the short run and risk adding to their burden? Or do we suck it up, remain silent, biding our time, aware that to wait might be in everyone’s best interest?

So many questions. So little time to figure things out. It’s at times like these that having a crystal ball would prove most useful. But alas, we’re mere humans, capable of foibles that cause us to sometimes make the wrong choices.

But I hold firm to the belief that to carrying on without regard to how others might be affected is just plain irresponsible, rude and immature. As such, I do the best I can. Measure the information I have—at the time—and then make the best-informed decision as to when and if to remove my silence gag and reveal to others pertinent bits of information that I believe will help lighten their load. To do any less, IMHO, would be irresponsible, rude and just plan immature. 

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Here’s an interesting thought. What if the things we obtained—good, bad or indifferent—were based solely on what we deserved? What if it had nothing to do with what we wanted? Could purchase? Afford or manipulate our way to getting? What if the only things that came our way were a direct result of what we’d done to deserve them?

Interesting premise….

Take a moment to imagine the world that would create….

If we could only be recipients of those things we directly deserved, I believe folks would handle themselves on a different plane. They’d be more cognizant of how they treated others. What they said. Did. And as a result, their entire way of thinking would shift…perhaps for the better.

This premise supersedes one being judged for their thoughts and behavior—a method of behavior control that has proven ineffective through history. Instead, it would feed on what tends to drive folks, well, not all but a good many, to do the things they do, say or think. I’m referring to how the media, society and other influences attempt to convince us that we should have all that we desire.

As a direct result, many find it hard to avoid the temptation to go to great lengths to obtain what they want. Never mind that the means used aren’t the most pragmatic, honorable, thoughtful or humane. No, what we’re told time and time again is that we should do whatever it takes to get what we want.

For the sake of this blog, I’ll assume that most would avoid breaking laws to obtain what they want. But aside from that, I’m surprised at how many individuals justify what they do, say or think to get what they want, as if they’re deserving, simply because they want said end goal.

But what if we stopped focusing on what we want and shifted our gaze to how we conducted ourselves? Seems to me doing so would alleviate a lot of self-inflicted stress. Think of it this way. If we refused to buy into the notion that we just need one more thing, relationship or whatever to make us happy, we could spend our time not only being happy but also trying to brighten the lives of others. And really, what’s so terrible about that? Oh, I know. It’s not all chic and cool—least not as far as the media, society and other influences are concerned. But who cares? I, for one would like to see that world we envisioned earlier actualized—the one where the only things that came our way were a direct result of what we’d done to deserve them. 

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Times change. Circumstances change. Needs change.

I suppose one of the biggest reasons a writer contributes a blog is for connecting with their readers. For feedback. For feeling like what they’re doing is worthwhile. Making a difference—no matter how small. That what they say might make one person view the world a little differently than if they had remained silent. Least that’s why I’ve been doing a daily blog for the past five years.

But times change. Circumstances change. Needs change. As such, folks don’t seem to be tuning in as frequently or as in as great a volume as they once did. No biggie. I get it. Folks are busy. Lives get complicated—know mine sure did!

As a writer, I need to take cues provided by my readership. I’ve been doing that, noting that the number of viewership fell, along with it the number of those taking time to enter comments. So I revamped my blog. Tried to spice things up. Take various paths I hadn’t up till then. But that has proven fruitless. Again, no big deal. I just need to adjust. And so I am.

Effective today, I will no longer contribute a daily blog. Doesn’t seem to be a need and when I began this, five years ago—a daily blog—my fellow writer friends thought I was insane to try to keep up that pace. Not that I had a shortage of things to say. I didn’t. But readers have indicated that they no longer have time for my daily blogs.

I’m okay with that. So, beginning today, I will only make one blog entry per week—on Thursdays. I’ll try that for a while and see how it goes. If the reception is good, then I’ll continue. If not, then I’ll reassess how, when and if there is a need for my blogging to continue.  

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Expectations…is it better to have them…or not? Human nature is such that we tend to hold silent expectations of others. That they’ll do, say or acknowledge something. Then, when that poor unsuspecting soul fails to deliver upon our secretly kept expectation of them, we have the audacity to get upset. Or feel hurt. Or worse, we don’t react at all other than to hold a grudge.

Not sure about others, but I’ve been guilty of this irrational behavior a time or two. And each time I find myself ensnared in this web, I scramble to extricate myself, vowing that I’ll not hold others to standards of behavior or actions—my expectations of them—in the future…unless…I’ve made clear those expectations ahead of time and they’ve been agreed upon.

So this brings me to wonder. Is it better to float our way through life, expecting little and being pleasantly surprised when things happen our way? This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t strive for the things we want or need. Or that we shouldn’t set goals to live by. Just that perhaps, life might be easier, certainly a lot less stressful, if we don’t harbor ill will towards those poor unsuspecting souls who don’t manage to deliver upon our silently kept expectations of them. And the best way I know of to avoid falling into this pitfall is to not hold expectations in the first place.