Wednesday, November 23, 2011

There’s something magical about watching animals interact with one another.  How they manage, if left to their own devices, to mitigate problems that arise with swiftness that doesn’t harbor guilt, hard feelings or negativity.  Humans could learn a lot from animals if they only took the time to pay close attention.

These thoughts are tumbling around in my head as I’ve enjoyed watching my mother and son dogs interact with one another over the past week.  Though they have never lived farther apart that a fence separating them, being this up-close-and-personal requires certain adjustments be made.

It’s been gratifying to watch how Sadie, the mother dog, will take and take and take from her son, Foster, but then, once she’s had enough, a simple growl or snap at the air is enough to put him back in line and make him know he’s crossed the line.  He doesn’t react with anger or pout.  Instead, he graciously accepts that it’s time to stop bothering his mother and lays down beside her in harmony.  Again, humans could learn a lot from this example.

I have always allowed my dogs to work things out amongst themselves, and for the most part, that’s been for the best.  As such, my dogs drink from the same water dish, can eat food beside one another without fighting and freely share toys with one another.  Should one have a particular toy they really want to play with and not give up, again, a simple growl lets the other know that—for now—that toy belongs to them.  That when they’re done, it will be available to be shared.  Again, there are no hard feelings with this mentality. 

I spend a lot of time watching my animals.  Always have.  It pleases me to see how they work things out and in the process, I learn important life skills that I can then apply to my own interactions with others.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

So often, folks are inclined to jump to hasty outcomes rather than taking their time.  Things come and go.  People and relationships do as well.  When one has served its time, there’s no use in morning that loss.  Instead, try to focus on the good aspects of that association.

There are times when one’s ability to trust their own judgment is compromised when a relationship comes to an end.  This shouldn’t be, for the only bad relationship is one where nothing was learned as a result of having entered into it.

It’s when we’re feeling most vulnerable, following one of these ended relationships, that we should take time to examine our motives.  Where do we want to go from here?  What did that relationship teach us?  Is the ended relationship causing us to spin out, unable to move forward?  Or is just the opposite true—we’re rushing into another?

Finding the answers to these questions is a journey.  That journey, I believe, is part of life’s plan.  To skip part of or shy away from it diminishes our ability to learn, evolve, and move forward.  But this plan takes time and shouldn’t be rushed, for to hastily enter into finding the answers we seek may leave us short-sited to all possibilities.  The positives.  The darker aspects hidden away in clever crevices.  The meaningful elements that enable us to more effectively progress.  As such, when one finds themselves in this situation, perhaps the best thing they can do is to take their time—time needed to sort things through….

Monday, November 21, 2011

And thus the countdown begins….

Whether or not a person celebrates Thanksgiving or the following holidays, one thing’s for sure.  Businesses go out of their way to attempt to draw us into an almost feeding frenzy of shopping.

While at the hardware store earlier this evening, I overheard the customer in front of me ask the cashier if they were going to have a Black Friday sale.  The clerk responded that she didn’t know.  The customer then asked that if they were, would the store be opening at midnight. 

Midnight?  Seriously, what could one possibly need from the hardware store that would warrant them heading there at midnight to begin their shopping spree? 

That customer left. The clerk and I engaged in pleasant conversation, continuing where the other discussion had left off.  We both agreed that it would be silly for the store to open at midnight.  Then the clerk mentioned how she felt sorry for the clerks who work retail at the locales that do open at midnight for Black Friday.

She shared how long ago she’d been one of those.  She claimed it was a nightmare and vowed to never do so again.  She told of rude customers, of getting no sleep, of having to be there extra early as an employee to help ready the store for opening, of mobs of impatient people crowding this way and that unwilling to exact a little self-control.

Wow!

I’d never thought of it from her perspective.  I did share how I’d only ventured out on one Black Friday to take advantage of the sales.  That was over a decade ago.  The experience left me with such a sour taste in my mouth that I never felt inclined to brave those same rude individuals the clerk had mentioned again.  Since then, I never have, opting to remain home on that day.

Listening to the clerk’s bad experience and well aware of my own, where folks pushed, shoved and were incredibly rude—all in the name of saving a few bucks—got me to thinking.  Perhaps there’s something I could do the help smooth things over this year.  Not in any huge way…but every little bit might help.

So here’s what I came up with.  Though I plan to remain safely tucked inside my house away from all the Black Friday shopping madness, I’m aware there are those who will engage.  And that’s fine.  But I do have a request.  If you’re one of those brave souls, please, please, please think of the way you conduct yourself.  Do your best to exact patience and handle yourself in a manner that spotlights dignity and grace rather than willful neediness.  Think of the employees who have gone the extra mile to help make possible your shopping spree.  Of the sacrifices they’ve made.  Perhaps you can even smile at one or call them by name instead of treating them with indifference. 

As I said, some may not celebrate the upcoming holiday season, but that’s no reason to conduct one’s self in a less-than-tolerable manner.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

I’ve never quite understood those who go out of their way to defame the reputation of another.  It’s one thing to spread awareness when an individual is known to be a possible nuisance or threat, but to actively generate blatant lies about them just…because…that’s not acceptable.

There are those who are bent on creating drama where none exists or on encapsulating their lives with a cocoon of chaos, dragging others into their volatile mix if and when possible.  These are the individuals I avoid.  I don’t believe that they’re bad people per say, just that they place too much energy on things they shouldn’t.

And what of the individuals who fall victim to the false rumors spread about them?  How are they to survive the whirlwind storm that surrounds them? 

This weekend, I was made privy to just such information being spread about a friend of mine, someone whom I’ve known and have been close with for over two years.  I was appalled at what I heard and upset that those who began the rumors would go to such lengths to hurt my friend.  

So back to my question of what’s a person who finds him or herself in this position to do.  Whenever I’m made aware of this kind of drama being generated, I make it a point to stick up for the person.  Stand up for their reputation—the one I know to be the true them.  If and when I can, I refute the charges against the individual with proof to the contrary of the rumors being spread.  As far as I’m concerned, this is the right thing to do.  The descent thing.  The respectful way to handle the situation and help dilute inflammatory comments made about another.

It’s amazing how quickly bad news travels.  How rumors, once begun, gain immeasurable momentum if allowed to travel unchecked.  This is why I believe it’s paramount to snuff them out as soon as possible.  Doing so, in my opinion, not only knocks all the wind out of their sails, but also helps mitigate collateral damage to the falsely accused person’s reputation. 

So what happens to the ones who begin these ugly accusations?  Simple.  By having folks who know better come forward and stand up for the one wrongly accused, the accusers are quick to realize that their plan is doomed to failure.  That, though they had hoped to hurt the individual’s reputation, no damage can be done when folks are willing to come forward and share the truth.