Thursday, February 14, 2013

Expectations…is it better to have them…or not? Human nature is such that we tend to hold silent expectations of others. That they’ll do, say or acknowledge something. Then, when that poor unsuspecting soul fails to deliver upon our secretly kept expectation of them, we have the audacity to get upset. Or feel hurt. Or worse, we don’t react at all other than to hold a grudge.

Not sure about others, but I’ve been guilty of this irrational behavior a time or two. And each time I find myself ensnared in this web, I scramble to extricate myself, vowing that I’ll not hold others to standards of behavior or actions—my expectations of them—in the future…unless…I’ve made clear those expectations ahead of time and they’ve been agreed upon.

So this brings me to wonder. Is it better to float our way through life, expecting little and being pleasantly surprised when things happen our way? This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t strive for the things we want or need. Or that we shouldn’t set goals to live by. Just that perhaps, life might be easier, certainly a lot less stressful, if we don’t harbor ill will towards those poor unsuspecting souls who don’t manage to deliver upon our silently kept expectations of them. And the best way I know of to avoid falling into this pitfall is to not hold expectations in the first place.    

Monday, July 30, 2012

In the words of the owner of the brake shop I was at earlier today, “There are some days when everything that can be delayed or go wrong, does.” 

We’ve all experienced days like these.  Sometimes we lose our cool and stress over what ultimately we have no control over—wasted energy that would be better spent on more productive things.  Other times, we manage to hold it all together, going along with the flow, aware that some things are outside our control and that no matter how frustrated we get they’re going to play out as intended.  So why bother getting upset?

Imagine how much self-induced stress could be avoided if we adopted the latter mentality all the time rather than on occasions?  So what determines whether we lose our cool or are able to more readily adapt when life throws us curveballs?

Time management skills play an active role in determining where our stress breaking point lies.  Allowing adequate time to get to/from places and to accomplish what we intend—plus a time buffer—can go a long ways towards lowering our stress levels when things go wrong or take longer than originally planned.  Likewise, being realistic about how much we can get accomplished within a specified time also helps maintain manageable expectations.  For example, aware that one has an appointment to be at in twenty minutes is not the time to decide to squeeze in one more chore that should only take fifteen minutes. 

Attempting to fill one’s to-do list with an unrealistic number of tasks in a compressed time frame isn’t always the best plan of attack.  Sure, you may get lucky and pull it off…if…everything goes exactly as planned.   But really, how often does life play out in the exact tempo and to the same rhythm as we’d hoped/counted on?  I believe that whenever possible, it’s better to leave one’s self a buffer.  Why? Cause frankly, life has an interesting sense of humor and enjoys coupling with Murphy and his little law that says, whatever can go wrong…will.