Saturday,

By nature, I’m a people observer, loving to take in the subtle nuances of their mannerisms, the way they converse with others, how they process things in their minds and then how that translates through their actions. I’ve always believed that being a good observer generates tolerance. I remember as a young girl, my father and I would go and sit in the entry atrium of the Natural History Museum in Los Angels and just watch people as they came and went.

Normally, an extremely active child who barely could sit still, when offered the opportunity to people observe, my entire persona changed to that of one who was more than content to sit for hours, barely moving a muscle as I watched and absorbed everything those around me did.

By college, I became fascinated with the reasons people do the things they do and switched my major to Sociology after my first year. I wanted to know why people are driven to do the things they do. I was also driven to uncover what causes the gears in some people’s brains to absorb a situation one way, while another, exposed to the very same situation, walks away with an entirely different impression.

There’s a saying that if you haven’t walked a mile in another’s shoes, then you don’t truly understand them. That saying has captivated me the majority of my life, for I believe it with all my heart. As such, whenever I get the chance to do just that, walk a mile in another’s shoes, I jump at the opportunity.

I suppose that, for me, it’s not enough to go through life only knowing how I view the world and how it affects me. No, my thirst is far greater, prompting me to drink in how those same things affect others, and then I give great thought as to why our impressions may differ.

I’ve learned much by observing folks over the years. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned is that though we may appear to be quite different on the surface, when you get right down to it, most people are similar in that they are driven to make their way through this thing we call life to the best of their ability. And, just as we hope for, they aim to achieve acceptance of who they are by those around them.

When you strip away the BS society tries to tell us about how everyone’s so different or should be judged, and focus on how similar we are, it makes being tolerant of the differences a whole lot easier and enjoyable.

Friday, March 25, 2011

I find it interesting, fascinating, in fact—human nature. Does anyone else find it incredible that folks actually ever manage to connect with other like-minded individuals who so closely mirror their own thoughts as to have it be a seamless fit? Or how about the likelihood of those individuals managing to find one another in the first place? Talk about the proverbial needle in the haystack….

Okay, so individuals somehow, against seemingly astronomical odds, manage to find one another. All are happy and content. The relationship blossoms into a thing of beauty. But then….

One day, sooner or later, fate steps in, and there’s some sort of misunderstanding. Feelings get hurt. One interprets the wrong meaning from the other’s actions or lack-there-of. So what then?

Well, emotions can run high. Lashing out can occur. But…if both parties pause long enough to take a deep breath, tempers can be calmed and rational reasoning can be resumed, allowing those involved to see things as they really are, rather than how they may have been perceived.

By the individuals taking the time to think things through and communicate, the relationship can be spared—made stronger, in fact.

At the base root is human nature. If it hadn’t been for human nature, the individuals wouldn’t have been drawn to one another in the first place. Had human nature not interceded, there probably wouldn’t have been a misunderstanding that occurred. And if it hadn’t been for human nature needing to preserve the gift of that relationship, then the individuals wouldn’t have taken the steps necessary to work things out in a calm rational manner that allowed things to resume their healthy course.

Human nature…it’s pretty darn magical the way it works!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Earlier, I was looking though some quotes, many of which I’ve posted here. Sometimes I find myself doing so as a means to reconnect with where I’ve been—those things that stood out to me at a specific time, wondering if they will still have the same affect on me as when I first read them.

One does, a quote I posted almost a year ago by Thomas S. Monson. It states, "Exemplify in your lives four tested, specific virtues: an attitude of gratitude, a longing for learning, a devotion to discipline, and a willingness to work."

It’s not surprising that this particular quote strikes the same chord in me as it first did, for these are the standards by which I live. Or, at least, they’re the ones I aim to live by. I don’t always make my mark. After all, I am human. But I endeavor to meet them or come as close as I can.

Take a moment, if you will, to imagine a world where most people would put into practice these words by Thomas S. Monson. Can you see it? I can, and wow, what a great place that would be! We can make it a reality, ya know. All it takes is for each of us to make the effort.

Who’s game to try?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A lifetime ago, I spent each and every day just trying to find ways to survive the abusive living situation I was in that threatened me not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. There were times I didn’t think I’d make it—many, in fact. Still other times, I hoped I wouldn’t, unable to bear the thought of another minute, day, month or year of the abuse. But digging deep, deeper than I thought possible, I somehow managed to pull through. Make it to the other side. Extricate myself from that living nightmare and begin my own life, one void of the abuse, negativity and intense hatred that had always been openly directed towards me.

I got out, began my own life, and like most, lost myself somewhere along the way of becoming a wife, mother, soccer mom, Girl Scout leader, Cub Scout leader, room parent, PFA President, etc. I allowed myself to get overwhelmed and dragged down in the swirling storm of chaos and drama that always seemed to surround me.

And then one day, the light bulb went on. Of course, by then, my kids had grown considerably and were all self-sufficient, allowing me a little bit of time to actually pause long enough to ask, “Who am I? What’s my purpose in life? Am I on track to obtain my goals or just serve the ones of others?”

It was then that I saw how things really were. That I’d allowed my life to turn completely upside-down and inside-out, with no time dedicated to me, my every waking moment spent serving the wants, needs and desires of others. In that moment of clarity, I realized that I was again caught up in a vicious cycle that was tearing me down, different, but in many ways just as destructive to my character as when I’d been abused all those years earlier.

And so I took back control of my life. Well…first, I had to find my life. Identify if I even had one outside the parameters of being a wife and mother and the plethora of other hats I wore, seamlessly removing one to be replaced with another, but none of which addressed what I needed, much less might want.

Taking control meant retraining those in my innermost circle that I now valued myself as a viable person, worthy of respect not only from others but more importantly from myself. And to prove that, I acted upon such, carving out little niches of time for my own needs. And the biggest change was when I resumed my writing career, a passionate dream I’d clung to for over twenty years while raising my family and standing by my husband as each of them rose to their potentials.

About halfway through writing my first published book, Little Girl Lost, I realized that I needed to set up a website where I could write a blog. Studying the sites of others, I was puzzled to learn that they only blogged every few days or once a week—sometimes less. I couldn’t imagine restricting myself to those parameters. After all, I had all the “stuff” bottled up in be from several decades of not being able to share, and I needed to it all get out. I wanted to share my discoveries with others. I hoped to create a place where readers could come and view optimistic words that might make them laugh, cry or ponder things on a deeper level.

And so began this daily blog, a silly thing that means the world to me. It allows me to connect with others that I might not have otherwise, often learning as much from them as they do from me. This blog allows me to stand triumphantly atop my “mountain” and shout for all the world to hear (or at least the ones who come here to read) how one small beaten down individual—me—can overcome abuse that often broke her and came dangerously close to wiping her from the face of the earth—on several occasions.

The thoughts I share here, I do with the greatest hope that someone—anyone—might be able to connect. That my words might give them that one…small grain of hope that I would have given the world to have been offered back when. I’m still standing, taller and better than ever before, and with any luck, I’m creating a wake of followers who have benefited from my thoughts.

To each of you who take the time to read my scribes words, I offer a heart-felt thank you!