Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy 4^th of July!  In honor of the holiday, I thought I’d share some inspirational quotes about freedom and independence.  Hope you enjoy.  : -) 

"Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation and freedom in all just pursuits." Thomas Jerrerson

“Freedom is never dear at any price. It is the breath of life. What would a man not pay for living?” Mahatma Gandhi

"If we are free from attachment, we can easily recognize ourselves in other people, in different forms of manifestation, and then we don't have to suffer."  Thich Nhat Hanh

“Liberty, taking the word in its concrete sense, consists in the ability to choose."  Simone Weil

"On life's journey

Faith is nourishment,

Virtuous deeds are a shelter,

Wisdom is the light by day and

Right mindfulness is the protection by night.

If a man lives a pure life nothing can destroy him;

If he has conquered greed nothing can limit his freedom."  Buddha

"Freedom is the oxygen of the soul."  Moshe Dayan

"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom."  Albert Einstein

"This, then, is the state of the union: free and restless, growing and full of hope. So it was in the beginning. So it shall always be, while God is willing, and we are strong enough to keep the faith."  Lyndon B. Johnson

"For what avail the plough or sail, or land or life, if freedom fail?" Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You have freedom when you're easy in your harness."  Robert Frost

"Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty."  Louis D. Brandeis

"As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.

We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.

The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as

anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,

while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility

are the sources of peace and happiness."  Dalai Lama

"You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom."  Malcolm X

“Life without liberty is like a body without spirit.”  Kahlil Gibran

"Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free."  Dwight D. Eisenhower

"The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves."  William Hazlitt

“Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.”  Albert Camus

"There, I guess King George will be able to read that."  John Hancock

"In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline."  Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Freedom is independence of the compulsory will of another, and in so far as it tends to exist with the freedom of all according to a universal law, it is the one sole original inborn right belonging to every man in virtue of his humanity."  Immanuel Kant

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

What constitutes a healthy relational connection?  According to C. Robb, “A primary goal of RCT (relational-cultural therapy) is to create and maintain Mutually-Growth-Fostering Relationships, relationships in which both parties feel that they matter. In these healthy relationships, all of the involved parties experience what is known as the Five Good Things. These include: 1) a desire to move into more relationships, because of how a good relational experience feels; 2) a sense of zest, or energy; 3) increased knowledge of oneself and the other person in the relationship; 4) a desire to take action both in the growth-fostering relationship and outside of it; 5) an overall increased sense of worth.”  I couldn’t agree more!

When two people opt to form a connection, whatever form that may take, they need to ensure that the forged relationship is mutually fulfilling with both parties able to thrive.  In addition, I agree with Robb’s assessment that healthy relational connections foster a desire for the individuals involved to cultivate more relationships. 

I believe it’s unhealthy for two people to obsess over one another, spending every single moment with only themselves.  Why?  Simple.  By closing out the rest of the world, these individuals limit their ability to keep things in perspective and offer themselves no chance for personal growth, which would likely enhance the relationship.

Often, however, I see two or more individuals enter into relationships that are anything but healthy.  These occur when one of the parties involved benefits at the expense of the other who withers bit by bit, their once brilliant light fading as they lose their sense of self and self-worth.  Worse is when the beneficiary is aware and goes out of their way to selfishly suck every last bit of essence from that other person, reveling in how much better they feel while caring little or not at all how the other individual is being negatively affected.

My heart breaks when I see how broken the “losing” individual becomes.  How they lose their ability to see themselves for the wonderful person they are.  Feel any sense of self-worth.   Project themselves into a brighter future, instead, collapsing themselves into the exhausted taken-advantage of individuals the other person in the relationship has made them into.

Many wonder why a person allows himself or herself to be so taken advantage of.  The answer is complex.  Sometimes it’s due to past experiences.  How they were raised.  Or general low self-esteem that predators are apt to take advantage of.  The worst part is, once trapped in this cycle, it’s beyond difficult for a person to extricate himself or herself.

 

So what can a person do to help ensure that the majority of the relationships they enter into are healthy connections?  I believe the best line of defense is to always seek to better one’s self, sense of self and feeling of self-worth.  By doing so, a person empowers him or her self to steer clear of predators by instilling an unshakable certainty that they are worth being treated with respect.  That their thoughts, actions and intentions should be valued and not shot down at every juncture—by anyone—much less someone claiming to care about them.

So as we prepare to celebrate our country’s independence, why not commit to celebrating our own?  The power we possess to maintain our independence while entering into healthy versus unhealthy relational connections?         

Monday, July 2, 2012

This evening, I discovered the ultimate in mountain hiking in the LA area—Griffith Park.  Though I had already navigated a couple of the trails with a group of hiking enthusiast friends, I’d never been on this trail that lead away and up from the Griffith Observatory into the surrounding hills and neighboring mountains.  This is the trail my friends and I navigated tonight.

Must say, from the get go, I was impressed with this trail.  Not for its ability to be strenuous, but because it offered a lot of amenities not often found on LA trails.  Since a lot of folks bring horses up there, watering troughs and also water fountains for people and pets are available throughout the trail—all the way up to and including at the summit.  Also, there were a series of horse hitching horizontal poles at the summit that folks could tie their steed to or use to work out on.  Though nice features, those weren’t the selling points of the trail. 

For me, it was the unobstructed panoramic view, complete with the Observatory, quite a distance in front of and below the summit, that won me over.  The view was breathtaking with a host of mountains and hills rolled out in every which direction as if someone had draped the land with billowy mounds of green velvet.  As far as I could see, the mountains stretched out.  And beyond that, I could see the ocean.  Yes, the actual, waves-crashing-to-the-shore ocean.

 

Don’t often find spectacular views like this in LA!  But for adventuresome type, such as my friends and I, we go out of our way to acquaint ourselves with sides of where we live that most don’t ever see.  To us, it’s not always about how strenuous a hike can be, but rather, how much our trek and afforded views can steal our breath away.  Make us feel infinitesimal as we stand atop towering mountains and gaze out at the ever-expanding land that falls away from us.

Tonight’s hike was one of those—a rare treat where we become privy to little-known secrets that made us stand in awe of our surroundings as our minds struggled to grasp that this…all this majesty was right in our very own backyard.  That it was here, laying in wait, just hoping others like my friends and I would come and explore her wonders.  

Sunday, July 1, 2012

While down in San Diego today, I did one of my favorite things—explore and find little hole-in-the-wall places to dine.  One of the ways I locate these places it to use applications that list places I might enjoy, based on past searches.  But…that’s not always a sure thing.  So, when in doubt and walking around to find a place to eat, I opted for one of the best ways I know to be directed to great restaurants—I began people watching to seek out someone who I believed was a local, into healthy eating, as I am, and might like the same adventuresome dining experiences I crave.

Didn’t take long before just such a person appeared in my sites. Noticing him, I introduced myself, explained how I was from out of the area and looking for someplace to eat.  He inquired what kinds of foods I like.  When I told, him, I could tell from the shine in his eyes that I’d selected the right person to ask.

He told me there was an awesome Thai restaurant a couple blocks away.  Then he gave me directions and offered a menu suggestion that he just knew I’d thank him for later.  I thanked him and we bid one another farewell.

Finding the restaurant with ease from the man’s directions, I got a table and found the food entrée he’d suggested.  Had a good feeling about the dish and that I’d like it.  My meal arrived and with it I took my first bite of what might well be one of the best dishes I’ve ever had! 

An image of the kind man who had recommended the restaurant and meal came to mind.  Never before have I so desperately wished I could find a person and give thanks for their kindness, for, indeed, the man had been right.  It was an ah-mazing meal that I wanted to give him thanks for recommending.

But alas, the man was long gone.  So, I did all that I could.  I enjoyed every last bite of my meal, basking in the afterglow of the kindness of a total stranger who’d led me to my delectable dining delight.