Saturday, May 9, 2010

I’ve written about it before, and I’m sure I’ll write of it after this blog. Laughter, it’s one of the best things we can treat ourselves to! Not only that, but it promotes a positive mindset and a healthier self.

I adore days when I’m surrounded by laughter! Had to head into the city today for a class. There I met up with a friend. The two of us had fun catching up with one another and laughing in the process. Towards the end of the class, the instructor wanted to give out a door prize and decided to have his girlfriend select a number between one and ten that audience members would try to guess. Each person named their number, and when the girlfriend was asked what number she’d selected and who was the closest, she replied, “My number was thirty-three.”

What?! Thirty-three? That’s nowhere near between one and ten.

Not a single person present, including the girlfriend, was able to stifle their laughter. She was asked to select another number. She did and immediately blurted out that it was three. Again, there was a round of laughter as the instructor tried to explain that she shouldn’t announce the number until after each audience member had a chance to pick one.

More laugher.

Third time’s the charm. Right?

The girlfriend managed to pick another number, not announce it and it was between one and ten. But…when the first audience member named their number, the girlfriend said, “Oh, shit!”

That did it. We knew the number had been picked.

After the class, my girlfriend and I ran a few errands and got a bite to eat. Lots more laughter ensued. Later, we gathered with a bunch of friends and had the most delightful evening getting caught up in their contagious laughter.

I can’t think of a better way to spend a day—getting lost in laughter!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Writing about what elements play into a good relationship made me think of what constitutes a family. It’s always baffled me when I hear folks get in an uproar about how certain types of families go against the norm.

Against the norm? Are they kidding?

Last I checked, nowhere is there written a concrete guideline for what constitutes a “proper” family. The dictionary defines family as, “All the people living in the same house,” and also as, “A social unit consisting of parents and the children they rear.” In my opinion, a family is a compilation of individuals coexisting in a mutually beneficial manner that serves, supports and nurtures each member of the family. And that right there is where I believe the confusion originates with what constitutes a family.

Again, in my opinion, it matters not if the family has two fathers, two mothers, a single mother, a single dad, grandparents raising the kids, an unwed couple or a married couple. What does matter is if there is a genuine mutual show of respect, devotion and love for one another.

Why must so much needless time and energy be spent arguing over whether or not elements A, B, C and D are in place to create a family? Instead, folks should focus on if the family members are happy, fulfilled, loved, cherished, appreciated and treated with respect. Again, it’s my opinion, but if these elements are in place then who gives a damn about if there’s one mother, father, they happen to be of the same ethnicity and there’s a marriage license?

I mean, really, to focus on irrelevant facts only serves to demonstrate how archaic some people’s thinking is. My philosophy is to live and let live. In addition, I believe that if folks take the time to sit back and observe what works for others, they might just learn a thing or two about what might be lacking in their own character.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I’ve been studying relationships and have found there are some common threads recurrent in the most successful ones. The traits of a good relationship seem to involve honest communication, a sincere cherishing of the relationship, devotion to putting in the necessary effort to sustain a long-term relationship and utmost mutual respect. These seem simple enough, yet they’re anything but.

How many relationships implode due to a lack of communication? When one or more partner refuses or is incapable of honestly expressing in a respectful and clear manner what’s on their mind, animosity, grudges and hurt feelings are allowed to fester. And like a cancer, those warped feelings cannibalize the relationship.

And what about when only one in the relationship truly cherishes the rarity and satisfying qualities of that relationship? When that occurs, taking the other for granted isn’t far behind. And when that sets in, it has a nasty way of undermining even the most stable foundation of a relationship.

Of course, all relationships experience their “speed bumps,” those things that slow, derail or threaten to end the relationship. It’s at those times, that the true intestinal fortitude of the members involved is put to the test. Will both be willing to put in the extra effort needed to sustain that relationship? Or will only one try while the other foolishly believes that he or she can sit back and coast? Unless both parties are willing to put in the needed energy and devotion to correct what’s wrong, the relationship is almost certain to fail.

Last, but certainly not least, those in a relationship must be willing to display utmost mutual respect for one another. Without that, the relationship becomes unbalanced. One works harder while the other expects or assumes that’s the way things should be. Wrong! Both parties need to be willing to put in the same amount of effort and appreciate the other person’s endeavors.

In the end, all relationships are not created equal. What works for one, will doom the next. What seems totally natural to one relationship will appear against the norm in another. That’s not to say that one approach is better than another, just that those who intend to maintain their relationships will have to become creative and resourceful in their approach to nurture the best possible relationship for them.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Today’s blog is part two from yesterday. In that blog, I wrote of the Station fire by our house a few years back and mentioned that my friends and I had a hard time returning to walking that mountain due to the emotions surrounding the devastating loss of wildlife and vegetation.

But several of us were determined to reunite with our mountain and took to walking it as a group. Somehow, being with friends in an environment where literally every living thing was seriously charred made the experience less sad.

Where we once encountered squirrels, fox, deer and other forms of wildlife, none, and I do mean none, remained. It was eerie walking those hills under those circumstances. And we had to keep a constant watch where our feet landed, as the trails were heavily laden with charred tree branches.

Spring dawned, and with it, we continued our walks in the hills. And although none of us is very fond of snakes, we were elated to see them make their way up to the trail from their underground nests.

And speaking of nests, we were equally pleased to see hawks, one of my favorite birds, return to the area. But, for the hawks, there was a problem. They like to make their giant nests at the tops of fully mature healthy trees, so as to keep a keen eye out. But due to the fires, not a single tree remained on the mountain that wasn’t burned branchless or completely killed.

These are not the conditions hawks seek when planning to build a nest. So the winged raptors opted for the next best thing—to make their nests in the closest available suitable trees. Those of course, happened to be in our neighborhood. And the hawks seemed to especially favor the mature trees on our property—all sixty plus of them.

So hawks made their nests in our trees and those close to our home, and all was good, until they got hungry. Hawks are especially fond of eating snakes—rattlesnakes, to be exact. Our charred remains of our mountains had a bumper crop hatching out. And with no vegetation to hide them from flying predators, the snakes were easy pickings.

Now all this is fine and dandy and part of the whole circle of life. I get that and don’t interfere. But, when this circle of life began threatening the safety of my hiking friends and me, things took on a different tone.

Allow me to paint you a picture. There I was, walking along with a group of six to eight other women, carefully monitoring where I was placing my feet to as not to trip over a charred branch or inadvertently step on a rattlesnake, crawling amongst said branches. Actually, I was doing a pretty good job of this and maintaining a good conversation, until I heard the distinct sound of a pissed off rattlesnake.

Scanning the ground, my eyes searched for where the snake was—we all did. None of us saw anything. But the sound of rattling was definitely getting closer and more insistent. That’s when I happened to look up. Not sure why, but I did. And what to my amazed eyes did appear but a hawk, flying about twenty-five feet above my group of hikers, carrying a very much alive and irritated rattlesnake, which was doing its damnedest to let the hawk know it was not happy.

Now it’s bad enough when you have to watch every step you take so as not to step on a snake, but when one appears directly overhead and rather close, chaos is sure to ensue. And it did. My merry band of hikers quickly moved from under the circling hawk. But as soon as we did, the hawk changed its flight pattern so it would be flying directly over our heads again.

Okay, not sure about the rest of you, but having a pissed off rattle snake fall out of the sky and land on my head is so not on my top ten list!

We hikers moved this way and that, each time, the hawk would readjust his circling.

What the hell?!

Frustrated and feeling trapped, I looked up at the hawk and said, “Okay, really. Isn’t there someplace else you could fly?”

Apparently, the hawk didn’t appreciate my questioning where he could fly. For right then, he looked down at us and let go of the snake.

Holy shit!

Pandemonium broke out, as my group of hikers scattered every which way, the snake falling to the ground where we’d just been. And the hawk? He kept circling.

Bastard! Somebody could get hurt that way.

My friends and I managed to skirt our way around the seriously pissed off rattle snake and continued on our way.

A couple of weeks later, a reenactment of the previous hawk and angry snake scenario played out. Only this time, we weren’t up in the hills, we were only a few blocks from my house. Chaos erupted, angry words were shouted at the hawk, and then another snake was dropped where we’d just been.

Beginning to take this personally and rethink my love of hawks!

As before, we managed to avoid the snake. This time, however, the snake was seriously injured—near death. And the hawk, as soon as we got far enough away where it felt safe, swooped down and picked up the snake and flew off.

That does it!

When I got home, following my walk, I looked up the hunting habits of hawks and learned that they kill snakes by dropping them on the ground until they are sufficiently dead.

Okay, things are beginning to look more like the normal cycle of life, here.

But what I didn’t find in my research, nor has anyone ever been able to explain to me is why both those hawks felt it necessary to hover over a group of women, minding their own business, and then drop the snakes on them. If anyone can shed light on this, I’d be most appreciative.