Tuesday, Sept. 4, 2012

Freedom….  Space….  The right to make one’s own decisions….  Children want it.  Teens crave it.  Young adults go to extremes to gain it.  Employees struggle to gain a glimpse of it.  So why is it so elusive?  Why must we go to such lengths to achieve it?  Even at minimalistic levels?

How much is enough?  Too much?  Just the right amount?  I suppose that depends on the individual.  The setting.  And those others who are involved.

For some, no matter how much freedom they get, it’ll never be enough.  For others, a little seems to satiate their appetite.  Others still tend to plunge off the deep end when given a taste of freedom, unable to discern acceptable boundaries for behavior, having been kept on waaaaaay too tight a leash where they were never given the opportunity to make their own decisions or learn from their minor mistakes without being made to feel that they’re a complete failure.

So what’s the solution?  I believe it all comes down to trust.  Without trust, those who are in control will never loosen the reins enough to let others prove themselves.  And without us having trust that others will grant us that chance to prove we can handle freedom, some resort to deceptive means to gain what they want/need.  A good example of both scenarios is when parents refuse to allow for the possibility that their children might be capable of growing up and handling more responsibility.

Does this mean those same kids won’t stumble and sometimes plunge into troubled waters that they themselves created?  No.  They’re human, just as we all are, and need freedom to make mistakes that they can learn from in order they’ll become better/more capable people.  Same could be said for employees and those whom they employ.

Like I said, I believe it all comes down to trust.  Sooner or later, we all have to trust.  And with that trust comes great responsibility, for trust needs to be appropriately doled out.  What do I mean by that?  Let’s use the child/parent relationship as an example.  A parent has the responsibility to allow their children to grow by providing them situations in which that growth is not only possible but also probable.  On the flip side, the child has the responsibility to honor, not abuse, that trust, meaning that if things do get out of hand or they’re not sure what to do next, then they need to reach out to someone, parent or not, whom they trust to guide them on the right path.  Same holds true with employers/employees.

So, though everyone craves freedom, space and the right to make one’s own decisions, the only individuals who will truly achieve that goal are the ones willing to put in the effort to trust, not only in their ability to offer trust, but also that the one to whom they are bestowing that trust will try to honor it.