Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I’m frequently made privy to conversations where friends share how there are times when they do or say things, not in keeping with their true self, to try to appease others. I can sympathize, for I, too have found myself doing that on various occasions. Don’t we all?

I suppose most wear a variety of “hats,” donning different personas according to who they are with or what the situation calls for. Not that they aren’t being true to themselves…or are they? Can a person be true to himself or herself if they’re adopting mindsets or behaviors that aren’t in keeping with who they really are? And if they’re doing so to appease others, make others feel more comfortable or to get others to like them, is that being honest?

Hmmm…that’s a tough one. On the one hand, it’s inappropriate to dump all of your “stuff” on others. But…on the other hand, don’t folks have a right to know who you are—at your core? Or could them finding out put a strain on the relationship? End it? Or make things so uncomfortable that neither party knows quite how to move forward?

Recently, I’ve had a good number of conversations with friends who did or said things they normally wouldn’t. As a result, each and every one of them ended up feeling as if they hadn’t been true to themselves and were left with feelings of remorse. Each did go back and set things straight, but the feeling of having cheated themselves out of being who they really are—at the time—left an indelible impression on each, causing them to rethink how they will go about things in the future.

I guess it all comes down to choices. We can mold ourselves into the image that others would like to see or reveal tempered reflections of who we are, mindful that some elements of ourselves might not be appropriate to share with one and all.