Thursday, June 24, 2010

A couple of days ago I wrote about how we forgive and move on. When we’re able to successfully do so, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life unfettered by past transgressions and woes that weigh us down and sap us of valuable energy. Along that train of thought, through our willingness to release the past, we reclaim our power.

Not a one of us makes it through life without encountering hardships, mishaps and situations that test our limits. It’s not the act of us enduring those things that make some of us stand out. It’s the manner in which we choose to handle ourselves that makes the difference.

Through all our dealings, we should strive to conduct ourselves with dignity, grace and offer respect to those around us. Of course, this isn’t to say that when we find ourselves drowning in devastating events that we won’t flail, kvetch and possible lash out. We’re human, and with that we need to accept our fallibilities just as we need to demonstrate empathy towards those who flail, kvetch and lash out towards us due to their pain and suffering.

Patience, understanding and compassion are what are called for during times like these. If we are the one who have done the lashing out, then we need to allow ourselves the latitude to feel our pain and, after, make amends with those who may have been the unwitting recipients of our less than graceful behavior.

If we are the ones who have been the unwitting recipients of less than graceful behavior, then we need to recognize that the bestower, due to what they may be enduring, aren’t thinking or acting as they normally would, their emotions having been short-circuited by their ordeal. This is when we need to exact complete compassion and be willing to turn a blind eye to their undignified behavior…at least at the time.

By demonstrating compassion, understanding and empathy instead of taking things personally, we prohibit the harboring of hard feelings—those things that have a nasty way of undermining relationships and cause us to expend mass amounts of wasted energy.

So what does all this mean? In short, if you’re going through a hard time, allow yourself to do just that, experience and feel it, even if that makes you lose all sense of dignity and grace. We’re human, fallible and perfectly capable of asking for forgiveness when the dust settles. And if we see someone being forced to endure an extreme hardship that taxes their limits, don’t add to their burden by taking their emotional outbursts personally. In stead, show compassion.

It is when we grow and evolve to the point where we can release past occurrences without harboring ill will that we reclaim our power.