My friends and I spend an inordinate amount of time discussing relationships. What makes them good. Where the pitfalls lie. How many people are quick to treat them like used paper towels, tossing them aside when done using them or things get tough.
Relationships are tough. They require constant attention, nurturing and refining. If one looks beneath the surface of any long-term relationship, they’ll find a myriad of overcome challenges. Many of those are significant enough that had the person been asked prior to entering the relationship if they thought they might overcome said challenges, their answer would probably have been, no.
But that’s before the person was in that relationship. Prior to when lasting bonds and memories had helped create the foundation of the relationship, forging it strong enough to undergo significant challenges.
So the couple carries on. Life rolls along. Things happen, some good, some not so favorable. But the couple gets through them—together. Then come the “speed bumps” as I like to call them. Those are the items that test the true grit of any relationship. Some speed bumps are somewhat derailing while others are downright tragic, making those involved seriously question what they’re made of, if the relationship can endure such a crisis and if those involved are willing to try.
It’s when a couple is faced with these crossroads that they need to take a step back in order to more objectively view the relationship. They must factor in its history. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Does the current crisis stand in stark contrast to the rest of the relationship, indicating an anomaly? Or does that current tragedy indicate an irreparable crack in the foundation of the relationship?
Some individuals are able to maintain enough objectivity to review these things and make an informed decision of how to proceed. Others, so emotionally engulfed in the moment, end up reacting instead of behaving in a calm, cool and collected manner that would best lend itself to the relationship.
Life’s complex. Relationships are even more so. Though they require work, I believe most are worth it. True, there are times when we all lose our ability to be objective, our relationships suffering as a result. But that doesn’t mean hope is lost. Or that we should cast them aside like some used towel. To me, that’s disrespecting all the relationship stands for—good, bad and indifferent.
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