Alone,
our minds struggle, as they turn inward, seeking to unravel the mysteries of
the answers we desire. There are times
when this inward “retreat” is a necessary part of dissecting things that have
transpired. How they make us feel. How they impact us. How they change the course of our personal
journeys.
On
other occasions, we reject the concept of turning inward as a means to better
focus, blocking abstract outside influences that might otherwise cloud our
judgment. Doing so allows us to zero in
on those things that might otherwise slip past our vision. Subtle nuances of interactions between
others. Dynamics that guide the manner
in which individuals conduct themselves.
The perception of one to another.
Being
drawn outside ourselves by those who are close is tricky business. On the one hand, there are times when we just
want to be left alone, and having things “poked at” can be irritating. But…one can always benefit from things being
put into better perspective by hearing the opinions of those we trust enough to
allow within our innermost circle.
Having
individuals who can get inside our walls of defense when we try to turn inward
is a blessing. Why? Because they have the ability to push us
beyond our comfort level and get us to take a closer look at things we might
otherwise want to ignore. But again,
this is tricky business.
First
off, it’s hard to allow one’s self to be drawn out when all we want to do is
retreat. And then, to have delicate
subjects not only touched upon but also then ripped open and fully dissected
can leave us feeling vulnerable.
The
trick lies in not reacting in a defensive manner, for doing so is
counterproductive to personal growth. I
believe that being oversensitive is an indication of one’s insecurities coming
to the surface. I should know, having
spent an inordinate amount of time struggling to overcome this.
So
where then lies the balance? Do we allow
ourselves the luxury of turning inward whenever we feel the urge? Or is doing so a form of crutch—a learned lifelong
behavior that disables our ability to be completely objective about things we
have experienced?
I
believe the answer is a bit of both.
Yes, we do need to turn inward—from time to time, but not always, and
certainly not as a means of escape. For
me, I rely on those close to draw me out when needed. Course, this doesn’t mean I won’t kvetch
against their efforts. I have, do and
will likely repeat this in the future.
But I’m getting better at resisting the urge to pull away when those
close to me gently point out that I might want to take a closer look at things
that I’m actively avoiding. Instead of
tuning them out or becoming defensive, I let the mantra: they’re only trying to
help, listen and I might learn something, play out in my head as I listen—really
hear—what the individual has to say. And
you know what? More times than not, by
opening myself up, I learn new sensibilities that would have taken forever to occur to me if left to my own
devices.
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