Monday, Oct. 15, 2012

Here’s a great quote by Albert Camus.  “We rarely confide in those who are better than we are.”  How true and…I wonder why.  Why is it that we only feel free to reveal our vulnerabilities and truths to those we believe to be equal or less than we are?  Why is it we can’t stand tall while revealing those same frailties to those who surpass us?  Those whose shadows we walk within?

Does lack of confidence play into this?  Or is it something deeper?  Perhaps darker?  Could it be that somewhere buried within us we only feel comfortable showing ourselves—all that we are and hope to be—to those we suspect we can “control?”  By control, I mean those whose thoughts and actions we believe we can influence. 

Perhaps there’s a part of us that senses that those who rise above us are a bit of a wild card—someone we don’t know how they’ll react or what things, once told, they’ll repeat to others.  I suppose this is where trust—honest to goodness trust—comes into play.

It’s one thing to believe in another person.  Something different to lay one’s belly unprotected before those who would then have ammunition to harm us (with the information we share) if they so chose. 

So how does one go about discerning the right individuals to trust?  The ones they’re willing to not only believe in but also put their faith in even though that faith may seem to defy reason and the opinions of others?  How does one locate such individuals in whom they can confide? 

Here we are back to the quote by Camus. “We rarely confide in those who are better than we are.”  In seeking the right individuals in whom to confide, does one eliminate whole pools of possible candidates simply because they’re “better” than them?  It happens often enough….  But what does that buy a person?  Does it ensure that they’ve chosen the right one(s) in whom they can confide?  The ones who won’t pass judgment, walk away from or worse, share their vulnerable truths with others as…gossip?  No. 

So why do it?  Why align with only our equals or “lessers?”  If it doesn’t guarantee us “safety” then why do we go to such lengths to limit our possibilities?  Wish I had the answer.  This is worth exploring with deeper thought….