Sunday, November 7, 2010

A short while back, I became aware of something I hadn’t known existed. And while watching an informative show about it, I still found it hard to believe. What am I referring to? Noodicles.

For those of you not in the know, noodicles are artificial testicles for dogs that have been castrated.

Really? Are you kidding me? Artificial dog testicles? Come on!

Back in the day, I was a veterinary technician for almost six years. I vividly recall when fake teeth, crowns and even orthodontics became available to dogs, well, for their owners to pay for. To be sure, there were extreme cases where these benefits did make the dog’s life more bearable.

But noodicles? How are those supposed to make the dog’s life better? I mean come on now, you can’t tell me that the dog actually cares one way or the other or that he will have a lower self-esteem if he doesn’t have the implants.

Watching the show from which I was enlightened, I saw how, just like at a plastic surgeon’s office, the vet brings out a board with various sized and shaped artificial dog testicles attached for the dog owner to select from.

Okay, seriously, there’s no way I’d be able to keep a straight face or take the vet seriously.

And…just for those for whom looking isn’t enough, the prospective buyer of said noodicles can hold the various sizes and shapes to feel which ones might work best or their dog.

Again, how would you do this without cracking up?

I’m a huge animal lover, dogs being at the top of my list. And there are very few things that I wouldn’t do for them to ensure a better quality of life. But noodicles? Okay, that’s where I’d draw the line.