Thursday, January 13, 2011

Responding to a comment on yesterday’s blog, I got to thinking about how some are afraid of empowering another. Society and life experiences have taught many of us to be mindful of what we share and with whom so it won't come back to bite us. I find it terribly sad that we have to censor ourselves in this manner. But...we do.

There are those who are painfully frightful of being judged for what they say, believing their words won’t measure up. Others are concerned that the thoughts—the real ones swimming around in their heads—will offend another. Still more cringe at the concept of revealing the person they are at their core, thinking that if they hold back that bit of themselves, then others won’t be empowered to hurt them on a base level.

As infants, we’re trusting and accepting, taking what’s presented to us at face value, not holding grudges, jumping to conclusions or passing judgment. As toddlers, we’re taught to become fearful of strangers. To hold back. To resist our urge to be outgoing on a carefree level.

In some ways this is good, for it teaches us to be safer. But with these teachings comes an underlying tag-a-long. I believe it’s at this point and through the teachings to be wary of others that we learn to place emphasis on what others see in us. How our actions will be perceived. By teaching an individual to be concerned about reaching out to those they don’t know, a small seed of censorship is planted, one that disallows them to act fully on their carefree instincts of innocence and trustworthiness.

As we progress through our younger years, some allow that small seed to manifest into a towering tree that overshadows their actions. They place more value on what others think of them than what they think of themselves. And that isn’t healthy. Instead of feeling free to voice what’s on their mind in a respectful manner, they clam up. In my opinion, this causes them to be stunted in their emotional and overall growth, for if they had just asked their questions and spoke their mind, they might have gained greater perspective and knowledge.