For those who carry a passion, such as I do, for competing
in running events, we tow a delicate line of pushing our bodies hard while
maintaining a firm grasp on the reality that it can all be taken away from us
in an instant due to injury. Some
injuries we recover from quickly.
Others we must wait out.
Still more leave medical professionals and us wondering if our bodies
will ever heal. The latter was the
case with me when I had to forfeit one of only two running events in my life.
The forfeiture was caused by a serious injury to my right
foot. Due to continuous racing and
competing in harsh conditions that pushed my body to its limits—and sometimes
beyond—I’d managed to crush the main vein on the top of my foot so extensively
that the specialists I was sent to didn’t know if I’d ever regain full use of
my foot. One thing they did
know. If I participated in my
upcoming race, a mere two weeks away, I’d end up on the surgery table, no guarantee
that would even help.
I’d trained and trained for this particular event. And, being the fierce competitor,
mostly with myself, that I am, quitting just wasn’t in my vocabulary—until this
time. Faced with the harsh
possibility of never having full use of my foot again, I did the only thing
that made sense. I stepped out of
the line up for the upcoming race.
Having to do so inspired the following poem I wrote.
In the Blink of An Eye
It hurts so much.
I’m numb, flat, empty and void.
My eyes well up,
Remembering all the training.
Six months…
Seven days a week…
Four 5K runs…
Two half marathons…
Two full marathons….
Countless, long, boring runs
All in preparation
All as part of my training.
Hundreds of hours sweating.
Thousands of miles run.
Two shiny pennies at the end
They pulled me through it all.
They were to be my reward
The icing on the cake.
But an injury killed the dream.
No taping or bandaging this time
will heal me.
The harsh reality sinks in—
I’m screwed!
All that training…for nothing.
Robbed of my fun events
Cheated out of my titles
Frustration overwhelms
My eyes overflow.
The tears begin to fall.
Leaves me feeling vacant inside.
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