Saturday, September 26, 2010

I often blog about change. How it can be good thing and shouldn’t be shied away from it. And I believe that. I do. But there are times that the process leading to that change can be overwhelming. This weekend has been a prime example of that for my family.

Originally, we planned to go to Arizona in celebration of our daughter’s family weekend at her college. I was especially looking forward to this, having missed last year due to a racing commitment. But life often has a way of hurling curve balls at us. That it did, and our overall purpose for going to Arizona changed with that unforeseen twist.

Much to our dismay, our granddaughter’s parents split up. I won’t go into details of how, why or what happened. Those aren’t relevant here. Instead, I’ll share a bit about today. I am keenly aware that ours is not an isolated event—happens every minute of every day. So why am I sharing? To express what I saw/experienced.

I doubt any of us got any sleep last night. I know I didn’t. Ever-present on our minds was the knowledge that today was the big day, the one where my daughter and Kai would leave to come home with us. Moving things onto the truck went smooth enough, but having to watch everyone try to hold it together during those several hours was excruciating.

I witnessed Kai’s daddy melancholy, as we all were, avoid breaking down—just barely—as he cradled his daughter for his final few hours. And Kai’s aunt, I could see her heart breaking over the thought of not only her sister leaving, but also her niece, whom she adores. Then there were my husband and youngest son, neither of who would speak to Kai’s daddy. Oh, the tension that caused. Eventually, my son followed my lead and began interacting. But my husband never did come around. Not sure if he will. That’s up to him to reconcile with himself and Kai’s daddy. Me? I’ve come to peace with all of this—sort of, well…as much as I can. Though it’s not the scenario I had envisioned or hoped for, none of us did, perhaps this is for the best and will allow all involved to grow and evolve in a positive manner.

Yes, I believe to my very core that change can be good, but as today proved, the growing pains associated with that change can be overwhelming in their intensity. But time is an ally I embrace. And with the passage of time, I suspect that the emotional wounds we all bear from this sad event will granulate over with happy memories of new events we haven’t even dreamed of yet.