Sunday, August 14, 2011

I’ve learned a thing or two over the years.  For one, long-term relationships have what I call their “seasons.”  Some of those are exhilarating like zooming down the steep decline of a rollercoaster.  The twists and turns they set you up for are beyond mind-blowing.  Others, one must struggle to maintain momentum like on the seemingly vertical incline of that same rollercoaster.  Each and every foot gained can feel like a major achievement while the distance still needed to go appears almost impossible.  Still more long-term relationship seasons fall somewhere in between.

The mind-blowing parts of relationship rides are, indeed, exhilarating.  Likewise, overcoming the struggles inherent with any long-term relationship leaves a person feeling somewhat victorious, as if they’ve gone thirteen rounds with a prizefighter before finally knocking them out.  But the parts of a long-term relationship that I find most satisfying are the in between parts, for I believe that those hold the meatiest part of the relationship. 

Those are the elements that tie the individuals to one another.  From which memories are forged.  There’s a comfort level that accompanies quieter parts of a relationship that cannot be denied, nor should they be.  Those are the times when a couple can sit with one another, completely at ease without sharing a single word, for none are necessary.  Each knows how the other is feeling.  Enough time has been spent scrutinizing the other.  Commonalities have been established.   Anticipated forms of behavior fall into place.  And before long, the couple begins to decipher one another like a blind person reads.  Not a single nuance is missed along the way.

Most often, the seasons of long-term relationships come with a price.  There are storms to be weathered, joyous times to relish and calmer moments to be appreciated.  None is more significant than the other.  Yet experiencing each is integral to the success of the relationship.  Just as with the seasons of a calendar year, relationship seasons don’t last forever. 

Some last a short spell, allowing us to glide through them with nary a care.  Others, however, test the stuff we’re made of.  How we think.   

Successfully enduring a long-term relationship requires that each member gain the ability to look past what they believe may be true.  Pay closer attention to what their hearts tell them is reality.  And to see with open-minded clarity what the actual truth is, aware that the current season is a mere measure of time that will pass.  It may morph into something new or revert back to what once was.  But one thing’s for sure, relationship seasons are cyclic, coming and going with a natural flow that if allowed, provide us opportunities to grow...as individuals as well as the relationship itself.