Many times, I blog about ways to better one’s self and tell how I strive to do so with my own shortcomings. I open up in this manner to let folks know that I’m a work in progress. But I’m not sure that’s the impression I leave. Instead, I wonder if folks think I’m some super human being who’s able to identify parts of herself that need adjusting and then set about fixing them with ease. Allow me to assure you that nothing could be further from the truth.
It’s true that I do actively seek to identify parts of myself that need improvement. And, yes, there are many times when I’m successful with modifying my behavior or making adjustments to bring about a positive change. But I’m human. As such, I have character flaws that bother me, need improvement and which I struggle to fix, often failing in my attempts.
A friend of mine believes that the first time a person does something wrong, it’s a mistake. The second time identifies it as a silly mistake. The third offense raises it to the level of a stupid mistake. And by the time it’s reached the forth occurrence, it’s become a bad habit. I’m here to admit that I have bad habits. Top of that list are how I lash out at folks when I get frustrated or thrown off balance and how I have a tendency to jump to conclusions.
Throughout my life, most have learned to avoid me during my outbursts. And as far as I was concerned, that was just fine, since I didn’t particularly want individuals in my line of fire when I was upset. But I’ve come to realize that’s not a healthy attitude to have about my lashing out. As such, I’ve made a commitment to modify that behavior. Do I think it will be easy? No. It’s never simple to rid one’s self of a lifetime of bad habits. But I’m determined. With that focus, there’s nothing I can’t accomplish. So I’ll dig in and do what’s necessary to evolve into a person who’s less likely to lash out and more likely to exact calm patience when I’m stressed.
Likewise, I would like to get a better handle on how I jump to conclusions. Years ago, when one of my kids would arrive late from being out or my husband would run behind schedule, my overactive imagination had their vehicle wrapped around some tree, them struggling to survive…or worse. Thankfully, I’ve managed to diffuse that tendency. Took time and patience, but now I can resist the urge to call the morgues when folks run late. But I still jump to conclusions, filling in the gaps with my own creative concepts, when someone doesn’t get back to me in a timely manner, or when our plans to spend time together get derailed.
Though I’ve tried to address these issues in the past, I’ve never done so with sheer determination that I know would make me successful. Instead, I made half efforts to amend my wayward bad habits. Things would improve…for a bit, and then I’d slip right back into my comfortable bad habits, welcoming the feeling of familiarity that came with them.
But no more! I’ve done an incredible job of reworking many other aspects of my character to bring about the positive changes I’ve hoped for. Now it’s time for me to make a concerted effort to get these two bad habits under control—once and for all!
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