Friday, January 13, 2012

Recently, I had an interesting conversation.  It involved how to discern the difference between if what we observe about others comes across as judgmental or as simple observations.  

As a lifelong people watcher and also author, I’m fascinated with scrutinizing individuals.  As such, I wonder if I notice things others don’t.  I latch onto mannerisms, nervous ticks and how others treat those with whom they interact when examining individuals.  I do so on a significant level, memorizing all that I see as if taking a photograph with my mind.

Sometimes, I regurgitate what I’ve learned to others who are with me.  It’s not my intent to be negative or have my impressions come across as harsh.  When I observe people, I try to maintain impartiality that leaves me open to see—really see—all that they are.  This involves noticing the good, bad and unpleasant.

When I express my perceptions to others, I try to retain that impartiality.  After all, who am I to pass judgment on a person I’ve never met, only having observed them?  My friends do the same, yet there are times we flinch from what’s verbalized, as if the observation was judgmental versus impartial.

Hmmm….

I wonder if others experience the same.  Are there times when you’ve watched someone and then, when trying to regurgitate the facts of what you’ve observed, feel as if you’re tripping all over yourself with an underlying judgmental tone?