Monday, February 20, 2012

Yesterday, I blogged about a lecture I attended on ethics.  I ended that blog, stating that we should incorporate living to a higher standard because: it’s the right thing to do and can help not only ourselves but also those around us to achieve a better quality of life.

This got me to thinking….

Where do our ethics lie when dealing with relationships we maintain with others?  I believe that a person has the responsibility to be honest, open and transparent in dealing with others, especially those with whom they are close. 

Of course, I’m not implying that one should go out of their way to be unkind with their honesty, openness and transparency.  Instead, they should do their best to keep the other informed, help to build them up and be there when things come crashing down.  And…if the other person is feeling insecure, by all means, make the extra effort to help build up their self-esteem. 

Here’s an example.  A woman is getting dressed for an evening out with her significant other.  She dons a new dress and comes out to show it to him.  Next, she turns around and asks, “Does this dress make my rear look big?”

Now the guy has several options for replies.  Each which will result in varying reactions from the woman.  And…some of those reactions may…hinder further interactions between the couple—least for a bit.

So back to the man’s possible responses.  He looks at the dress, and realizes that, yes, the woman’s rear does look larger in it.  But here’s where he has choices and needs to make more appropriate observations.  He could tell her, “Yes, that dress makes your rear look huge.”

Of course, any male who’s got half a brain realizes what results this comment will yield.  So, the man, being intelligent, takes another moment or two to think things through.  As he views the woman, standing there, twisting this way and that, trying to view the size of her rear in the dress, he comes to a brilliant conclusion.  No, the dress doesn’t make her rear look large.  

Actually, her rear is already large.  Having had his aha moment, the man triumphantly looks the woman in the eye and with absolute honesty says, “Why, no, dear, that dress doesn’t make your rear look big.”

In this example, the man has been honest—the dress is not what makes the woman’s rear look large.  It’s already large all by itself.  Also, he was kind by building up the woman’s insecure self-esteem.  In the end, it’s a win-win situation.

But life isn’t always so simple.  What about when a person is faced with having to trust in another that what they’re being told is the absolute truth—one that having been told a fabrication could cost them or worse, have disastrous results?

Tune in tomorrow when I expound on this subject….