Sunday, July 22, 2012

An interesting thing happens when one hits middle age…and beyond.  Least it has for me.  When I look around at my friends, some of whom are my age, others are older, and yet others are younger, I’ve learned a certain quiet calm that allows me to more deeply appreciate what we share together, for as I look at those friends, I’m reminded of just how precarious life is.  How, unless we take the time to appreciate and acknowledge those whom we hold dear, we may not get a second chance.

Last weekend, I had the privilege to attend a dear friend’s birthday party—most likely their last.  Life has not been kind to this friend, at least not in the health department.  As a result, this friend is hooked to an oxygen tank wherever they go.  And even with that, many breaths are labored, some cease all together and there have been numerous trips and admittances to the hospital where those surrounding this friend, held our breath and hoped for the best.

Another friend, who’s twenty-five years my junior, is also struggling.  Seeing her, now in a wheelchair with three of her organs now paralyzed and facing chemo on top of the unrelenting other treatments, not to mention surgeries every week or so, well…yeah…you get the idea….  Every once in a while, her spirits fall as happened a few weeks back when she’d returned from yet another surgery and lengthy stay in the hospital.  Determined to lift her spirits, I gave her the chance to talk about how she was feeling—really feeling, not the front she puts on for the rest of the world.  The one that exhausts what little energy she does have.  At first, my girlfriend was resistant, but then she opened up when she realized I was there to listen—honestly hear what she had to say.  And I did so with no judgment, need to make her feel better or to have her slap on a happy face.  I wasn’t put off that as the words of her emotions spilled from her lips, they became more and more laced with the honest frustration, anger, sorrow and despair she feels.  In fact, I celebrated that my girlfriend honored me with opening up.  Venting some of the pressure that’s been building within her to the point of disabling her—more than her physical ailments.

Then there’s the friend who I’ll celebrate their birthday with today.  A friend, a few years older than me, who has battled and overcome, not once, but twice, lymphomic cancer.  Though we celebrate this friend’s victory, we know fate, as cruel a mistress as she can be, might rip that sense of conquering away at any moment.  The next test results may come back abnormal or with elevated results.  And so, with each and every struggle this friend endures, there are those of us who surround them, allowing them a safe haven in which to be honest with how they are truly feeling while celebrating in the opportunities we have to share together, because, yeah…those may not last….

Like I said, an interesting thing happens when one hits middle age…and beyond.  Least it has for me.   Looking at my friends whom I hold dear, I’m reminded of just how precarious life is.  How, unless we take the time to appreciate and acknowledge those whom we hold dear, we may not get a second chance.