I went for a long walk yesterday up where we live. There were kids dressed up everywhere, as it was prom night. One group had chartered a luxury bus to take them to and from the event. As it passed me, all sleek and black, I recalled a good number of years back to an encounter.
We lived in a neighborhood very close to where a famous rapper had their house. Well, one of them—the main residence. We could always tell when they were home, because on either side of the porte-cochere sat two enormous men who looked more like massive tree trunks than mere men. These were the rapper’s personal bodyguards. And there they sat every hour of every day on metal folding chairs whenever the rapper was in.
Guess the rapper didn’t want the guards to get too comfortable, thus the metal folding chairs.
The other way we could tell if the rapper was staying at home, was when we’d see their forty-foot sleek black diesel-pusher motor home pass by the front of our house on the way to theirs. And an armored truck that carried their jewels and money always followed the diesel-pusher. Following that was a large van with bodyguards.
Quite exciting when the rapper came to stay at their house.
Anyhow, although it’s not uncommon for us to have celebrities living amongst us in our town, it is certainly not the norm to have such high-profile ones, and those who do live here tend to keep a low profile.
Not the rapper.
Residents began getting upset that this person had landed in our quiet town and stirred things up. But I took a different approach. I firmly believe that to each their own. And as long as the rapper behaved, then I saw no problem with them being here. That is until….
Quite a bit of chaos and drama was circulating around the rapper along with a lot of “outsiders” visiting our town and our very neighborhood, trying to discern exactly where the rapper lived. All of us kept our mouths shut, hoping the interest and dram would go away.
It didn’t.
Things escalated and escalated until one night, I happened to be up quite late.
I admit I’m a night person.
As I was turning out the lights in preparation to go to bed, the rest of the family having turned in hours before, I saw the street illuminated in front of our house, indicating the approach of a car. What I heard next sent chills down my spine.
All of a sudden, the unmistakable sound of nonstop gunshots rang out!
Crap! Here?! In my sleepy little town? No way!
As the car passed by the front of our house, the sounds continued. I hit the ground and crawled as quickly as possible to the nearest phone. Then, for the briefest of moments, the sound of gunshots stopped before resuming as the car passed.
Holy shit! That’s an automatic and they just reloaded!
I had the hardest time dialing 911, my hands shaking so badly. I had no idea where the gun was being aimed and wasn’t sure if stray bullet would pass though our house any minute. I finally got the number dialed, and an operator came on the line, asking the nature of my emergency. I said, “A car just passed by the front of my house, firing an automatic weapon.”
The woman chuckled.
Chuckled? I could kill her!
She calmly explained, “Now, I’m sure what you heard wasn’t gunfire but just a car backfiring.”
A car backfiring? Is she serious?
I steadied the frustration in my voice and tried again. “Ma’am, I think I’d know the difference between a car backfiring and rapid gunfire.”
“Well, they do sound awfully similar,” came her calm reply.
It was then that I realized I’d have to take things up a notch and said, “I understand that, however, with all due respect, ma’am, when a car backfires, it does not stop to put in another clip before resuming backfiring!”
There was a lengthy pause on the other end. Just about the time I was going to ask if she was still there, the woman said, “I see. Can you please tell me where the car is now?”
Thrilled I’d gotten through to her, I explained that the car had driven around the block and was now driving the length of the cul-de-sac behind our house, still firing their weapon.
“We appreciate your call,” the operator said. “We’ll send units right up!”
Thank God!
To the best of my knowledge, no one was hurt with that incident, though it was certainly the talk of our town for quite some time. And it was shortly thereafter that the rapper decided to take up full-time residence in one of their other homes—in a different city.
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