There are days when a little procrastination is a good thing. Today, that was certainly true.
I got up and finished packing and loading my car with the help of Kai’s daddy. Then we three had fun chatting, relaxing and marveling over Kai, all of us half asleep from a very long night with her, while Kai’s folks made me a farewell breakfast of blueberry pancakes and maple bacon. (Excuse me while I wipe away my drool.)
Smelling the food and hearing us start to eat, Kai decided to awake and want to be held, so her daddy got her up, and she joined us at the table, cradled in his loving arms. We ate. She cooed, wiggled and took us all in with her oh, so curious wide eyes.
When it came time for me to leave a bit later, I stalled as long as possible. Holding Kai in my arms earlier, I had privately said my good-bye to her before handing her to my daughter. Somehow, I managed to make it through that without tearing up. But then, once I’d bid farewell to and hugged Kai’s folks, my daughter said, “Don’t you want to hold Kai before you go?”
That did it. I couldn’t even choke out an, “Of course,” without my voice falling apart. And when my daughter reached her out to me, my eyes were so welled up with tears that I could barely make her out. Sensing something was amiss, Kai let out a squeak of a cry, but settled down the minute I took her. She looked up at me with her beautiful inquisitive eyes and then burrowed her head against my neck and began making the sweetest cooing sounds as one of her hands wrapped around my arm.
Lord, as if my heart hadn’t already shattered, that gesture did me in. I laid my face against the top of her head so her folks wouldn’t see me fall apart, knowing that if they did, we’d end up in a mess of tears, I’d never get on the road and Kai’s daddy would be late to work.
It took a few moments to pull myself together enough to be able to look up. When I did, Kai’s folks acted as though they hadn’t seen me crying and averted their eyes, lest they, too, begin. I then handed Kai back to her mommy and excused myself to the restroom where I grabbed a tissue and stood there shaking from the effort of fighting back the urge to dissolve.
Driving home, I called my daughter and we texted a bit when I stopped to get gas. When I arrived home, my youngest son and husband were just as thrilled to see me as I was them. They let me freshen up, and then we went out to dinner to celebrate my return, all sharing with one another our individual adventures over the past month.
On our drive home, I texted my daughter. She texted back, and then called me, asking some advice about baby Kai.
So, things have gotten back to a more normal flow, different than before, but more the norm than they have been. And with the help of technology, I’m never more than a text or call away from my one daughter or Kai and her folks. And that suits me just fine.
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