Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Becoming the calm in the midst of potential brewing chaos. That’s what I’ve become, in essence, since staying with my new granddaughter, Makaila, and her folks.

With new parents, every aspect of having a newborn can seem overwhelming. And although they prepare and read up on what to expect, the practical application of that information seems to go right out the window in much the same way that Lamaze techniques are quickly abandoned when the first real hard labor pains kick in.

As I’m here, twenty-four-seven helping out with Makaila, I have the unique opportunity to help put to rest many of the concerns that crop up with her parents. They constantly want to know if the sounds she makes are normal. Or when her umbilical cord would fall off. Or if her bowel movements are right. Or if she’s eating enough. Or if what she’s eating—breast milk—might be right for her. This last usually becomes a concern when she spits up a little while being burped, a perfectly normal occurrence, yet frightening to new parents who prefer that what goes into their treasured child stay in her.

I view my job while staying here as one where I’m the calming voice. The one that helps Makaila’s folks understand that their beautiful daughter will not spontaneously explode. She will be perfectly fine and, no, they don’t need to stand at the side of the crib and stare at her. Instead, if they have the rare opportunity, they should try to get some rest.

I can empathize with their plight, for I, too, was once that new worrywart of a parent. And each time I brought a newborn home, although I’d had previous experience, this new baby was different. Reacted in unique ways to its sibling(s). Ate on its own schedule. Slept as long as they needed, etc. And so I’d have to begin anew, learning the ways of this new baby. Yes, I drew from my past parenting experience, but had to learn a whole new ebb and flow to that parenting.

So, as I rise with my daughter each and every time that Makaila awakes during the night and help out, I treasure the opportunity I have to be right by my daughter’s side to answer her questions that no one was there to answer for me when I became a parent. During the day, I do the same, standing back and letting Makailas’s folks handle her so they can learn to feel comfortable, though I become actively involved in an instant should they ask for my assistance. And when Makaila’s daddy turns to me for advise or my opinion, which happens often, I handle his concerns like I do my daughter’s, with a pleasant calming disposition that introduces harmony and success into Makaila’s parents’ attempts, for that is what I think a calming force does.