Tis the season…. What better time than to assess where you are in life? How people treat you. How you allow them to treat you.
Recently, I’ve engaged in conversations with various folks, many of which I can personally relate. One woman shared how her house had become thought of as a hotel. She recently received a call from a cousin’s ex, whom she hadn’t spoken with in two years. This person had the gall to tell her he was coming to California for Christmas and was going to stay with her.
What?
It gets better. Originally, he’d indicated that he’d arrive on December 23rd and then leave after the New Year. She agreed.
Why?
But then, he surprised her by calling a week later to tell her that he’d be arriving on the 15th, still staying until after the new Year. Thankfully, she put her foot down and told the house-crashing cad that was not acceptable.
And what of the “friends” whom haven’t had a bit of contact with you—forever—but…as soon as December rolls around, they suddenly want to be on your radar. Better yet, from past experience, you know that these “friends” will disappear as soon as the holidays have come and gone. So why do they pop up? Simple, the ones I’ve encountered and have been told of by others want to be added to your Christmas list so they’ll get gifts, etc.
How bold!
And I’m sure we can all relate to the people who, having found the time to become bored in their own lives, feel they have a right to monopolize ours, attempting to infuse themselves into every minute of our day. The brazenness, which these folks display, is nothing shy of incredible in its rudeness not to mention sense of entitlement.
Where do they get off?
I could never imagine imposing myself on another, telling them that I was going to crash at their house until…whenever. Likewise, I can’t fathom the audacity of those who try to ingratiate themselves to others just for the sake of getting something for free. And to think I’d have the right to monopolize someone else’s life, complicating it in the process, is something I can’t even wrap my mind around.
What I can detect is a common thread in all of these scenarios. We are powerless in none of them. Nowhere is it written that we should allow ourselves to be treated like doormats for others. Sure, they have the right to ask, just as we have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves. Doing so will sometimes require that we say “no.” Will there be hurt feelings? Probably, especially if the one’s we’re declining demonstrate even half the rudeness or sense of entitlement that I’d spotlighted here. But should we let fear of upsetting someone who is rude sway us into disregarding our needs to fulfill theirs? Absolutely not!
Tis the season that folks are running on hyper-drive, trying to accomplish a monumental amount of stuff. Allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of only serves to further complicate our already busy schedules, fraying our nerves in the process. So how do we lessen our load? By pausing before heaping more on our plates to discern if what’s proposed is something we want or others, who are looking to get whatever they can from whomever, are forcing upon us.
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