Sunday, July 31, 2011

If you’ve been following along the past couple of days, then you’ve been reading about a recent injury of mine that triggered an intense emotional reaction to a significant injury I sustained as a teen—one that almost left me paralyzed from the waist down when a hit-and-run driver struck my while I was riding my bike.

To continue with the story….

Nothing could have prepared me for what I would endure for the next four years as I tried to maintain a “normal” high school existence while struggling with blinding pain and exo-skeletal back braces that allowed me to stand upright.  That was the start of the Gloria Vanderbilt skintight jeans girls wore, the ones so tight as to make folks wonder if they’d been painted on.  Though I was petite, as I am now, I was still self-conscious of how my brace, which I insisted on wearing under my clothing, increased my waist size. 

There were a multitude of daily nuances necessary to make it so I could get through my day with minimal discomfort.  The pain never ceased, but I could mitigate it—somewhat.   And so, that’s what I concentrated on.  Not on how I felt or how I suffered or what I could and couldn’t do physically.  To me, it made no sense to waste precious time on such trivialities when the big picture—fully recovering—was my main goal.

So, I did what was needed to focus on my objective, dug my heels in and carried forth, not looking back, feeling sorry for myself or asking others to make compensations for me.  But…another thing I failed to do was to allow myself the latitude to experience the multitude of feelings my entire ordeal created. 

Over the years, things rolled along, I got better and made the most of the limitations I had.  I was doing pretty well until this most recent blow to my spine. 

I’m a person who views the glass as three quarters full and tries to spot the silver lining to any situation.  So, I maintained that attitude while time warping my way back through time and space when my back recently got struck.  Yes, it was a terrible experience—beyond painful.  But more than a physical pain, the emotional floodgates it opened brought me to my knees. 

Thankfully, there were friends with me who were able to step in and help.  Aware of my history with spinal injuries, they helped ease what could have been an impossible situation.  And me….  What did I glean from the event?  Simple.  I learned that it’s not only okay to flash to the past to resolve old injuries, but it’s actually advisable.  For, until one grants him or her self the freedom to express all overtones of a past experience, that incident will forever remain in the side wings, waiting for just the right trigger to bring it to center stage.

I’m grateful for what I recently endured.  What it taught me.  How my friends were there to assist me in my time of need.  But most of all, I’m thankful that I’ve finally put to rest all aspects of that horrible accident and all I’ve experienced as a result.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Yesterday, I began a blog about how there are things each of us has from our pasts that no natter how well we’ve dealt with or blessed and moved on from, somehow have a way of resurfacing when just the right situations arise.  My recent encounter with this was when I sustained a blow to my lower spine, not on but right alongside where my back was struck while I was a teen—the injury that almost left me paralyzed from the waist down.

Somehow, in that instant, I was transported through time and space, back to the exact moment of the accident, where I was free to feel all the emotional and physical pains of that fateful event to their fullest degree.  Back when the original accident occurred, I was so overwhelmed with trying to recover, that I didn’t allow myself the luxury to experience all the emotional pain that went with the event as well as the subsequent decades of pain and suffering.  But…with this most recent impact, all that came to the surface in the biggest way!

I found myself reliving what it felt like to be thrown off my bike, through the air and then slam my lower back into an unyielding rod of steel.  I recalled the desolation I endured when I fell to the ground, unable to move, and watched the driver of the vehicle who hit me, stop her car, open the car door, look at my immobile body and then close her door and drive away.  She never said a word to me, though I vividly remember the shrill screams of her passenger from just prior to impact to when her friend drove away. 

The driver’s act was heartless, cruel and irrational.  But she was young and scared.  Our local police department was flooded with calls of eyewitnesses.  The driver was apprehended and made to answer.  But none of that eased how she’d made me feel when our eyes locked and she looked at me like a piece of garbage, not worthy of the simplest comment before she drove away.

Check in tomorrow for the finale to this story….

Friday, July 29, 2011

Each of us has things from our past.  Ones we wish hadn’t happened but having endured and triumphed over them forged us stronger than before.  I’m not so very different.   There are many things about my childhood I wish could have been better.  Events I wish hadn’t happened.  Things I was exposed to that no child should ever have to withstand.

For me, I’ve spent a good part of my life putting to rest the demons my childhood created.  Not forgetting what happened, but rather taking a hard look at those events, processing them through to their tiniest nuances, gleaning what knowledge I could from them and then blessing the rest and letting it go.

As much as I’ve release the hold my past has had on me, every once in a while, something comes along that triggers a past occurrence, instantly transporting me back through time and space to when the event(s) took place. 

That happened to me just recently when I suffered a blow to my lower back, not on, but right beside a spinal injury I sustained that almost left me paralyzed from the waist down at age fourteen.  The second the impact took place, I was unable to process it, and so it did that weird Twilight Zone thing where I was zapped back to the exact moment in time when I was originally injured.

My hand flew to my lower back in a feeble attempt to protect it.  I had a devil of a time fighting back the waves of vomit that threatened to spew from my mouth.  Swallowing repeatedly, I managed to drop to the ground where I rolled in a fetal position.  From there, a nonsensical stream of dialogue, half referring to the blow that had just occurred while the other half teetered on a stream of comments driven by the deepest emotional outburst I can ever recall experiencing.

When I was a teen, a hit-and-run driver slammed into me on my bike after running a stop sign.  My left shin collided with the bumper of the car, and I was tossed, ragdoll fashion, over the hood of the car.  The only thing that stopped me was when my lower spine smashed into the support beam between the windshield and driver’s side window, cracking backwards in the process.  In that moment, there was a blinding pain, the likes of which I’ve never felt before or since, not even when I delivered all four of my children completely natural.

At the time, and in the subsequent months and years that followed, I didn’t have time or the energy required to process, from an emotional standpoint, what had happened.  Instead, I was too consumed being fitted for steel bar reinforced ego-skeletal back braces and having to relearn how to function over the course of the next four years.  Couple that with having to battle the powerful family of the girl who caused my injury in a lengthy litigation along with trying to maintain a normal life by attending school, and there just wasn’t a chance for me to adequately work things through.

So I didn’t.  Instead, I compartmentalized what had happened.  And when the blinding moments of shooting pains occurred, the ones that felt like a lead pipe was being smashed into my lower back, causing me to fall to my knees, gasping for air due to my injury, I didn’t stop to think about how I felt.  Oh, no, I was far too concerned with overcoming my injury and reclaiming a physically active life.

If you tune in to tomorrow’s blog, I’ll continue on with what happened….

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Helping one another out.  That’s one of the things I like to do most.  Not that I set myself up to be used or treated as anyone’s doormat.  Used to adopt that role until I wised up.  Now, if a person is worthy, I’ll go out on a limb to offer a helping hand.  And…the best part is, the friends I’ve surrounded myself with do the same. 

I don’t mind helping others, especially when I know they’re doing their best and are a bit overwhelmed.  Frankly, we’ve all been there done that.  So I can relate and like to help out where I can.

I did a lot of that today.  There’s a woman I work for who is a bit overwhelmed with all she does.  As such, some of my friends and I were noticing that a few things were beginning to slip through the cracks.  Instead of getting upset or turning a blind eye, we took note of those items that needed additional attention and pointed out the necessary changes to the woman. 

Our suggestions weren’t viewed as being intrusive or judgmental, the woman realizing the intent behind our help.  All we wanted to do was make things easier for her.  So, noticing the gaps that needed to be tightened up, we set about making a concise list of corrections and forwarded them along.

I’m glad my friends and I were able to help.  That the woman was appreciative.  That we had the ability to see what was needed and act upon it.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Good fortune takes many different forms.

This morning, a co-worker made my day when she offered to help me.  She didn’t need to, hadn’t been asked to and certainly wasn’t expected to, so her gesture came as a pleasant surprise.  Instead of brushing it off, I accepted her outstretched hand with great enthusiasm, appreciative of her caring enough to want to assist. 

She had been checking out a new website design I’m working on and had some useful suggestions on how to make it better.  Her thoughts were right on, so I eagerly applied them.  Then she offered to help me take some great photos to add to the website.  Again, I was touched by her interest and willingness to give of herself.

Not long after we finished taking those photos, another good fortune came my way—the chance to help two other friends who were in need.  Though the outdoor temperature soared and the space we occupied had an air conditioning unit that failed, we three set about our task with pure intent and light-hearted dispositions.

Determined to make the best of what could have been a miserable situation, we labored for hours in a hot warehouse that grew so warm inside, us sweating profusely in the process, that it actually took on a humid climate.

Ew!

Armed with loads of water and a roll of paper towels that we used to mop our sweat when it became too intense for us to ignore, we set about completing out task.  Hour after hour rolled by, each of us growing more drained with the passing time and intense heat.  My hair, which I’d straightened this morning, resumed its spiral curls from my sweat.  Each of my friend’s hair took on the same appearance.  And yet, we continued on, laughing and encouraging one another through our plight. 

Though the heat drained us physically, it couldn’t dampen our enthusiastic natures.  It didn’t stand a chance, for we were determined to do what we’re good at—make the most of a situation.  The fact that we were able to share the experience together strengthened each of our resolves and made the situation more enjoyable.

So, though many would have viewed having to spend hours laboring away in sweltering conditions misfortune, we three embraced the time we were able to share with one another as good fortune.

One never knows what form good fortune will assume, and I believe that the only way to truly appreciate it is to keep an open mind.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Haven’t written about my running for a bit, so thought I’d enlighten folks as to how my run went this evening.  For those of you who live in hotter climates, you’ll appreciate how those of us who run like to wait for temps to cool down a bit prior to heading out—if at all possible. 

Today was warm where I live—quite, and it took until this evening for the temp to drop to a “cool” 92 degrees.  So, I waited until then, which just so happened to put me at the start of my favorite mountain trail at 7:00 PM.  I wasn’t worried about this, since I knew it would still be somewhat light out by the time I finished my run, and I’d be surrounded by a host of other athletic folks who, like me, had waited for the temp to drop before exercising.

But…not far into my run, I recalled why I don’t like running at this particular time of day, especially on the mountain.  Bugs!  Lots and lots of bugs swarm the area, for they, too, have waited all day for cooler temperatures.

So, running along, I found myself repeatedly pelted by bigger lethargic bugs.  Then there were the swarms of hundreds of littler ones that managed to get in my eyes, mouth and attempt to hitch free rides when possible.  Of course, I don’t believe in freeloaders and gave those unwanted hitchhikers the heave-ho.  My least favorite insects of the evening are the larger black gnats that seem to be everywhere you don’t want them to be. 

Since the other insects were already assaulting my eyes and mouth, my nose soon began to run.  And that—nice moisture—is an exceptional draw to those pesky black gnats that just love to crawl up one’s nose. 

Ew!

So, not only was I near suffocating cause I couldn’t breathe properly, having to keep my mouth closed while running uphill to avoid a lovely bug appetizer, but also I had black gnats attempting to invade my lungs via my nasal cavities. 

Yuck!

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the swarms of hundreds of littler insects had a ball colliding with my face and clinging for dear life to my eyelashes.  Now this wouldn’t be such a problem, except that, seeing as I have to keep my eyes open while running, and in them is appealing moisture, the cling-on bugs then crawled into my eyes, temporarily blinding me as I attempted to rub them away.

Seriously!  And I thought running was supposed to be relaxing….

I managed to finish tonight’s run, completing it faster than normal.  No doubt, my quicker time was due to my frustration and overwhelming need to get the heck off the mountain and away from all the bugs.  As a bonus, I learned something with tonight’s run.  I am not a fan of waiting until the temperatures cool off to run, especially if it means having to share my mountain with all those horrible bugs!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Never in my life, can I recall a time when every single major freeway in southern California was being improved simultaneously.  To many, this may not seem such a big deal.  But to those of us stuck her trying our best to navigate the already clogged freeway veins and arteries, it’s a nightmare. 

Those of us who live here have learned to tolerate traffic.  It hits with frequency and at specific times of the day and night.  We’re used to that.  Have adjusted.  But to then have Cal Trans span out that congestion to all hours of the day and night, every single day of the week, can and is getting tedious. 

In all fairness to the organizers of the freeway improvement construction crews, they are doing a lovely job of mitigating the impact their work has on regular traffic.  They wait to shut down freeways, off ramps, on ramps, and multiple lanes until after rush hour traffic has subsided—mostly.  But…by beginning those closures as soon as the traffic would normally ease up, they have managed to create a situation where one can and does encounter near rush-hour traffic conditions on every single major southern Californian freeway 24/7.

I’m trying to be patient.  Understand that the repairs being made on the freeways are necessary and will much improve the quality of the roads we navigate daily.  But in the meantime, I find myself tired.  Tired of not being able to find alternate routes to avoid traffic, since all those pathways are impacted by freeway improvement closures as well.

I’m aware that my blogging about this won’t improve anything.  Nor will it solve any problems.  But I must say, expressing myself is liberating, and I feel there are others out there who can relate to my dilemma. 

Friday, July 22, 2011

A friend and I were talking about traveling and having to live out of suitcases—the problems that can create.  These days, travel for many in business is inevitable.  For others, the joys of travel still lure them and make them willing to tolerate living out of luggage.

This process seems simple enough…until one is pushed to do so on a tight time line.  There’s always the risk of leaving something of value behind.  Of having something taken from one’s luggage while it’s out of one’s sight.  And then there’s the whole individual techniques each of us has developed for mitigating these problems. 

If I’m at a hotel, my luggage always stays in the closet.  Some things I hang, but never place items in the dresser drawers, afraid I’ll forget something when I leave.  Dirty clothing I place in a super-sized, white, drawstring laundry bag that I can plainly see on the floor of the closet.  I developed the later technique after getting frustrated over how many items seemed to get lost and left behind on the floor of a hotel’s closet no matter how carefully I looked before checking out. 

My friend was marveling at how I manage to keep the contents of my suitcase from exploding all over the place once I arrive at a locale.  I explained that I routinely sweep items back towards my luggage so as to contain the spill—again, not wanting to lose anything.  Also, there’s nothing worse than being in an unfamiliar locale, it being pitch black in the middle of the night and then tripping over strewn items on the way to the restroom.

Yes, traveling can be fun.  In fact, most times, I thoroughly enjoy myself.  But I must admit, it does require extra effort and planning to ensure that one comes home with all they left with and doesn’t end up tripping all over it while away.

Thursday, July 22, 2011

I adore it when folks are willing to venture outside their comfort zones and try new things.  This is one of the things I like to encourage most.  I know it’s not easy for most to do this, so I applaud their efforts with the greatest effort. 

Sometimes, it may take an inordinate amount of time for the individual to work up enough courage to admit they want to try something new.  Other times, it may take quite a bit longer for them to act upon it. 

Ultimately, when someone’s faced with embarking on a new venture, I’m beyond patient.  I believe that by doing this and not rushing them, I manage to convey just how proud I am of their ability to step outside that with which they normally feel at ease. 

Not wanting to scare them off, I’m hesitant to come right out and make a big deal—at the time—of their endeavor.  Instead, I allow them whatever time is necessary to grow into some form of comfort with what they’re setting out to accomplish. 

I did this with a woman today—granted her time and space needed to see her new goal come to fruition.  By the end, she was thoroughly pleased with her success.  And I couldn’t have been more pleased for her.  She did struggle along the course to that success, but was put at ease by others and myself. 

After all was said and done, the woman sheepishly came to me and apologized for having taken so long to reach her goal.  I smiled at her and couldn’t help but chuckle as I told her there was no need for her to apologize.  That I couldn’t be more tickled that she found not only success but also fulfillment in her quest.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

There are times when a person feels vulnerable.  That can originate when they feel emotionally overwhelmed or have experienced an unpleasant experience. The result?  The individual may draw within himself or herself, unwilling or incapable of communicating at the time. 

I’m like this.  For me, feeling vulnerable is too painful and scary to contemplate—most times.  As a result, I’m inclined to pull away from those who might be able to comfort me.  I erect “walls” that stand tall between us, effectively sealing myself off from further pain or hurt. 

I realize this is an ineffective manner in which to deal with things.  As such, I’m making an effort to eliminate this lifetime behavior.  Instead of having my knee-jerk reaction be to withdraw, I’d rather remain in the present as I face whatever it is that’s caused me to want to pull away.

This isn’t easy.  Least, not for me.  There are those who get put off by the way I react, taking personally my inability to deal with pain at the time.  I feel bad that I end up hurting their feelings, which is a strong driving force as to why I want to improve the way I communicate in these situations. 

Thankfully, I have a wonderful friend whose help I’ve enlisted to see if I can tear down the walls I tend to create, one brick at a time, as I endeavor to handle things more effectively.  Not sure how it will all turn out.  That’s okay, for I’m not looking for instantaneous results or perfection.  Instead, I’ll measure my progress, or what I hope will be progress, one minute detail at a time.

This is how I tackle self-improvement ventures I set out to accomplish.  I find that breaking down the process to more manageable segments by which I can measure my progress, I’m more inclined towards success and less likely to let a defeatist attitude get in my way.

Feeling vulnerable is never easy.  It can be scary and emotionally draining.  But…worse, I believe, is being incapable of effectively communicating in such situations.  This is why I’m driven, as I am, to improve.  Not saying things will transform overnight, or that I’ll magically learn to remain fully engaged in the present even when taxed emotionally.  But my determination and intestinal fortitude has carried me through muddier waters in the past, delivering me to safe land on the other side.  So with this, I’m hoping for similar positive results.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Today’s been one of those days spent getting caught up.  Seems like I have one of those every few days or so. Not that I don’t plug along and get things done as needed.  I do.  It’s just that there are times I deem catch-up days where I end up sprinkling in a little of this and that, ticking backlogged items off my to-do list. 

Haven’t figured out a pattern as to why this is necessary.  Items piling up don’t seem to have any correlation as to whether I’m busier or not as swamped.  It just sort of…happens.  So, instead of getting upset, I put my nose down and get things done, one item at a time until I have crossed all the items off my list that need to be addressed. 

Not so many years back, it would have thrown me into a start of chaos if I had carry- over items on my list and I’d fallen behind.  But, I suppose life and circumstances have taught me the errors of that wasted stress, enlightening me to a better way.  Now I adopt an easy-going attitude, one where I get the items done, as I would have in the past.   The only difference is, now I no longer get stressed out about the need to have catch-up days.  And for that, I’m grateful.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Yesterday, I began a blog, expressing how there are times when I wonder if I’m making a difference.  If my existence amounts to anything.  Then there are days when the significance of my being slaps me upside the head, leaving no doubt if make a difference.  In yesterday’s blog, I shared how that had happened when my friend and I were put in the position to help a drowning woman at the beach.

I left off yesterday’s blog with my being on a 911 call to the local fire department.  The officer I spoke with asked a series of questions about the current status of the woman. I shared how she had been successfully removed from the water, her complexion a deep shade of blue, her not breathing.  My friend had turned her on her side and was smacking her back.  After what seemed like forever, the woman began coughing.  Salt water dribbled from her mouth at first, and then she began coughing up a lot of it—easily 16 ounces in all.

We were thrilled the woman was at least breathing, but disturbed that she hadn’t a clue who she was, where she was or why she was soaking wet, sitting on the sand.  Minutes passed.  In the meantime, one of the lifeguards had come over and taken control of the situation just prior to emergency teams reporting to the scene.

My friend and I slipped back, not wanting to crowd all that was going on the help the woman.  The reporting teams and lifeguard each did their jobs with caring precision.  Each minute that passed brought the drowning woman more into awareness of her plight. 

It was deemed that she had suffered a seizure and fallen in the water.  Being too large, her friend had been unable to extract her from the water or lift her head up high enough to keep the water from rushing over it.  The result…each time the seized woman drew in breaths of air, her lungs consumed more water.

By the end, the woman was able to stand on her own and was then transported to the hospital to be checked more thoroughly.  My friend and I faded into the background, each of us donning a smile that warmed us through to our cores.  It felt good to know that we’d done a good deed.  That we’d helped another who was in desperate need. To have reaffirmed that we do make a difference and that our existence amounts to a great deal.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

There are times when I wonder if I’m making a difference.  If my existence amounts to anything.  Then there are days when the significance of my being slaps me upside the head, leaving no doubt if I make a difference.

Yesterday, I had several commitments to attend.  One of those, I decided to skip, too tired after a long workweek that involved little sleep.  I found myself on a beach with a friend, the two of us having just shared a foot-long sandwich and sipping coffee while sitting on a rock jetty.  After we’d finished eating, we decided to go for a walk. 

Halfway between two lifeguard towers, we opted to sit on the rise of sand the ocean’s surf creates during higher tide.  We spoke little, appreciating the tranquil environment and hypnotic lull of the waves.  Minutes passed.  Couldn’t begin to say how many.  With each passing one, more of my previous week slipped away, replaced by a deep sense of contentment.

I shifted my gaze, activity off to my left catching my sight.  There, I took in two larger women along with two elementary school age kids who were engaging with one another in the water.  They weren’t out very far, only enough to have the water cover their shins. 

I looked away for a minute, a seagull capturing my attention.  When I looked back, I watched the foursome, taking in how they appeared to be wrestling with one of the larger women who was now lying in the water. 

Though the group seemed relaxed, I sensed something wasn’t quite right and scrutinized them.  Within seconds, I realized what was wrong.  The face of larger woman, who was lying in the water, was pointed downward and under the water.  She wasn’t moving.  The other woman and two kids were attempting pull her from the water.

They weren’t panicking, nor were they calling for help.   But it was clear they couldn’t extract the one woman from the water.   With each set of waves that rolled in, the water level rose, covering the one woman’s entire head and face!

Everything in me bristled.  I alerted my friend, who wasn’t looking in that direction, as to the situation.  My friend leapt up and bolted down to help, while I rummaged through my purse to find my phone and dial 911.  It took only seconds for an operator to come on the line and then connect me to the fire department who wanted to know exactly where I was.

I tore my eyes away from my friend and two others who were trying to pull the woman from the water.  Looking in first one direction and then the other, I hoped to see a number written on one of the lifeguard towers to give my location.  But they had none.  Seeing a nearby person, I went to them, hoping they’d be local and tell me the name of the nearest cross street.  But that person was from Texas.  I repeated this process several times, each encounter introducing me to someone from out of state who was visiting. 

Just about the time I was wondering if anyone on the beach was a local, a woman came forward and was able to tell me the name of the street closest to us.  I shared this information with the fireman on the phone as I walked back to where the activity with the drowning woman was taking place.

Stay tuned and read tomorrow’s blog to see how it all turned out….

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Well…carmagedon is officially here in southern California.  The predicted mayhem of freeway congestion with hour-long delays hasn’t happened.  Navigating is almost easier than usually.  Myself, I couldn’t be more pleased.  This weekend, it wasn’t an option for me to hunker down at home and avoid the traffic mess should it have arisen, since I had numerous commitments, modeling and otherwise in the city.  Having to get to each locale required that I’d have to navigate the mess on the freeways caused by the closure of the 405 freeway. 

So…what did I do?  What any person who thinks ahead would.  I went into the city for work on Thursday and then went home with a friend after.  My plan was to relocate for the entire weekend to avoid having to drive in an out of the city.  I was so pleased with my solution, which would allow me to uphold my work commitments while circumventing what could have been a traffic nightmare.

As it turns out, the traffic hasn’t materialized.  I attribute this to pre-advertising the media did, warning people of the upcoming 405 freeway closure.  I believe this allowed many, myself included, to make alternative travel plans or to decide to hunker down and stay home for the weekend, thus eliminating a good amount of folks driving around.  For this, I’m grateful.  It goes to show that folks, when given half a chance, will rise to the occasion to help mitigate predicted major obstacles.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Character is a function of choice.  I recently heard this and was impressed by its profound simplicity.  Character costs us nothing, and yet few possess it.  Why is that?  Perhaps the answer is that, just like manners, it would appear that many couldn’t be bothered.

I wonder why that is?  Don’t people care how they present themselves to the world?  How others receive them?  How they feel about themselves?  Or is it easier for many to adopt an all-about-me attitude and do whatever they want, throwing caution to the wind as to the consequences of their actions?

Let’s take a closer look at what character means.  The dictionary defines character as: the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. 

Hmmm….

This doesn’t seem so tough.  I believe it requires just as much resolve adopting a positive character as it does an unwholesome one.  Of course, there are exceptions to this theory, just as with everything else in life.  So, going with the it’s just as easy to take on a positive character belief, why would anyone elect to take on something less than character?  Because, after all…it is a choice whether to espouse character or not….

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Here in Los Angeles, we’re gearing up for “Carmageddon”—the closure of the 405 freeway.  That will begin tomorrow during Friday rush hour traffic and last through Sunday.  This freeway is the most significant artery in southern California, so the prospect of it being shut down has sent many into a frenzy of intense worry. 

Many are hunkering down, determined not to leave their houses.  Others are planning major alternative routes to get from point A to point B.  All are talking about what this will be like.  If the media’s constant reporting of the coming of carmagedon will help create less havoc during the event. 

My entire life, this major freeway has never been closed.  In fact, I don’t know of anyone who could have conceived of this artery ever being closed. I find myself wondering if, just like when the 1984 Olympics were held in Los Angeles, if the media’s warning of everyone ahead of time will offset what could be a major traffic nightmare.

Either way, whether this freeway closure turns out to be a disaster or somewhat manageable, one thing is sure.  As of 7:00 PM tomorrow evening, Los Angeles and all surrounding areas will never again take the 405 freeway for granted.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

What…are people crazy?  That’s the recurring question my co-workers and I keep wondering aloud.  With the insane cases we’ve been hearing about in the news lately and then other stories of beyond naive questions folks ask, ones where the answers are so elementary as to make one wonder if the asker is serious, we’re left wondering what’s up. 

My office co-workers and I ponder the possibility that many fail to take the necessary time to think things through before acting or saying things.  We also wonder if common sense has somehow eluded many.  Or is it that we over think things?  That we are somehow able to sort through things better than others?

Recent media cases, involving the mother cleared of murder charges of her child and also the disgruntled woman, caught in the middle of divorcing her husband, cause my co-workers and I to wonder who’s walking amongst us in our day-to-day lives.  Is it possible to really know a person?  What they’re capable of?

Concerning the case where the mother was cleared of murder charges, many have come forward, stating they thought she was an exemplary mother—the best.  That they couldn’t conceive that the mother committed the crime.  And when it comes to the disgruntled wife, caught in the middle of a divorce…well…I don’t even know where to begin with that.  Is there a good starting point?  Or is this one of those cases where we just have to come to terms with the fact that some people aren’t playing with a full deck?

What it all comes down to is, what…are people crazy?

Tuesday, July 13, 2011

I spend a lot of time here blogging about finding one’s self, identifying one’s dreams and taking charge of one’s life.  I do this as a result of thoughts and sensibilities that I adopt, the ones that seem to make the most sense, to me.  That doesn’t mean they’re right.  Or wrong.  Or that mine will or could apply to others….  It’s just, these are the things that pop into my brain and knock around a bit, colliding with this and that until they either take root or get tossed out.

I spend an inordinate amount of time observing others and sorting through the thoughts that bang around in my head.  By doing both, I hope I’m learning valuable lessons along the way.  Least, it seems like I am.  Of course, as some of you have pointed out, many of the concepts that I conjure up about how to better one’s life are great in theory but can prove quite challenging to put into action. 

I don’t dispute that bettering one’s self is hard.  That effort, determination and patience is required on levels many haven’t considered before.  But I also know the rewards make the effort all worthwhile.  Even when we get bumped and scraped along the way, just knowing that we gave it our best shot amounts to a whole lot of gained inner good feelings.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I recently read something that caught my attention.  But now, I can’t recall where I read it or who was being paraphrased.  Anyhow, it was significant enough as to leave a nice impression on me, so I thought I’d share.  I’ll paraphrase what I recall the paraphrasing said. 

Death doesn't give us a coupon for the time we spend being miserable, our end will come one way or another.

I believe the time we have here is worth enjoying while we have it.  This saying is a wonderful reminder to help keep us focused on what we should be prioritizing while allowing us to let drop away those things that only cause chaos and needlessly complicate our lives. 

Figure out what kind of life you desire and then start to build it for yourself.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

This has been an extremely busy workweek for me.  So much so, that I’ve barely been home.  When I have been, I’ve missed seeing my granddaughter each and every time.  Either she’s sleeping or gone, as her mommy is working. 

This evening was the first time in an entire week when my granddaughter and I caught sight of one another.   I’d gone for a run.  Upon my return, I had to ring the doorbell to be let back in the house.  My daughter, who’d been gone earlier to pick up my granddaughter, came to let me in, Makaila in her arms. 

My daughter let me in and then turned to walk away.  But Kai, having locked eyes with me, was going to have none of that.  She twisted and turned in her mommy’s arms, nearly breaking free, so she could keep her eyes locked on me.  On her face was the biggest grin. 

Flashing her two bottom teeth and the tips of two of her top ones, Kai made it quite clear that she wanted me to pick her up.  I came to her, my smile matching hers—so happy to finally get to see her.  She leaned out, hoping I’d take hold of her.  And when she did, she gave me a biggest smile. 

Since the day Kai was born, I’ve taught her that if she locked eyes with me, I’d always be there for her.  To pick her up or do whatever she needed.  Tonight was no exception.  Though I was drenched in sweat from having just run a six-mile mountain trail in near one hundred-degree heat, I let Kai bond with me.  The moment she got to touch me, her smile exploded into one of the most radiant ones I’ve ever seen.  With that smile, my heart melted as it overflowed with love for my granddaughter. 

There are few things in this world that can touch a person’s soul in such a complete and sincere manner.  The pure smile of a child is top on that list. 

Saturday, July 10, 2011

There are day’s when so much laughter abounds that my sides hurt. Earlier today, while at work, one of the gals used a bowl that had been left there to heat up her top ramin.  Now mind you, she was thorough in cleaning it first. 

She heated her soup, ate it and then a half hour later began second-guessing if it had been such a good idea to have eaten out of a bowl that anything could have been in.  One thing led to another, and before long, she had herself worked up, imagining that a rat might have crawled through the bowl, gone to the bathroom in it, and now she was going to get ill. 

Normally, this co-worker isn’t paranoid about her health, so her reaction was out of character.  Another girlfriend and I tried to calm her nerves, but everything we said only made matters worse.  Before long, our friend was looking up symptoms of rat poop ingestion on the Internet.  That got my other friend and I to laughing, as we told her she overreacting.

This, our co-worker being freaked out and us trying to calm her while laughing in between, lasted for almost two hours.  Finally, we explained that she’d be fine because she most likely ingests rat feces on a regular basis.  That the FDA allows such to be included in some foods.

Ew!

Our co-worker looked up this fact online and believe it or not, when she read that what we’d told her was true, she felt instantly relieved.  Not sure why, but this put my other friend and I into fits of laughter.  Here, we’d spent time trying to persuade her that she’d be fine, that all would be okay, that she probably hadn’t ingested any rat feces.  To all this, our co-worker had balked, maintaining that she would get terribly ill.  Then, as soon as she read that the FDA allows for consumers to ingest rat feces in some foods, her mind was instantly put at ease.

Go figure!

I’ve gotta say, those two hours spent laughing and trying to calm our co-worker were the highlight of my day.

Friday, July 8, 2011

At work yesterday, I shared with my female coworkers how I appreciate how coconscious American Express is in monitoring their cardholders’ activity.  The subject came up when one of the gals shared how she’d experienced fraudulent charges on one of her credit cards and was put through a living nightmare trying to prove that she had not made those charges.

This evening, I stopped on my way home from the office to get gas.  While still at the pump, I received a message from American Express, asking me to contact them regarding possible fraudulent charges on my account.  In the meantime, they had put a hold on my account to protect me. 

I had to wait until I got home to call them, since they need calls regarding fraudulent activity on one’s account to be made from the phone number that the account has listed on it.  For me, that’s my home number.

As soon as I walked in the door, I made that call.  The representative I spoke with was very polite and told me that two failed attempts had been made on my account, then an actual charge for gas—the one I had made.  I was impressed that American Express had been on top of the situation with such expediency—within two minutes. 

I explained how I had attempted to swipe my card at the pump and had received a message that the transaction couldn’t go through.  Thinking there was a mistake, I’d tried again before going in to see the attendant, who was able to manually process my request.  And here’s the best part, the attendant requested my photo ID with my credit card.  This, because American Express, between the two failed swipes with my card out at the pump and my walking inside the store, had put a hold on the account, requiring photo ID for further purchases.

Like I said, I was thrilled with how quickly American Express jumped on what could have been fraudulent activity on my account.  I wasn’t upset by having to walk inside the store or having to present my photo ID.  In fact, I’m grateful for the added safety measures American Express incorporates in such situations.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

I like how life’s a perpetual rollercoaster.  If you don’t like the way things are going, stick around a bit, cause they’ll be sure to change.  Overwhelmed by life…hang around a while, for a definite calm is due. 

Some may disagree that life’s a rollercoaster.  I know that from blogs I’ve posted, many have expressed how it seems I have a lot that comes my way.  I’m not sure I have any more or less than others.  Just seems to be the way life rolls with up, down, storms and lulls.

In my opinion, life would be one monotonous drag if its hills and valleys didn’t exist.  And there’s a trick to making it through in tact.  I believe the trick is to maintain perspective, which can be achieved by surrounding one’s self with a wide variety of individuals.  Doing so, in my opinion, helps one better identify which things are heavier than others.  If left to one’s self, without the benefit of sharing with others, life and its problems have a way of closing in on a person. 

So for me, I’ll take life with all its ups, down, twists and turns and enjoy the wild ride it offers, so long as I can continue to keep things in perspective.