If you’ve been following along the past couple of days, then you’ve been reading about a recent injury of mine that triggered an intense emotional reaction to a significant injury I sustained as a teen—one that almost left me paralyzed from the waist down when a hit-and-run driver struck my while I was riding my bike.
To continue with the story….
Nothing could have prepared me for what I would endure for the next four years as I tried to maintain a “normal” high school existence while struggling with blinding pain and exo-skeletal back braces that allowed me to stand upright. That was the start of the Gloria Vanderbilt skintight jeans girls wore, the ones so tight as to make folks wonder if they’d been painted on. Though I was petite, as I am now, I was still self-conscious of how my brace, which I insisted on wearing under my clothing, increased my waist size.
There were a multitude of daily nuances necessary to make it so I could get through my day with minimal discomfort. The pain never ceased, but I could mitigate it—somewhat. And so, that’s what I concentrated on. Not on how I felt or how I suffered or what I could and couldn’t do physically. To me, it made no sense to waste precious time on such trivialities when the big picture—fully recovering—was my main goal.
So, I did what was needed to focus on my objective, dug my heels in and carried forth, not looking back, feeling sorry for myself or asking others to make compensations for me. But…another thing I failed to do was to allow myself the latitude to experience the multitude of feelings my entire ordeal created.
Over the years, things rolled along, I got better and made the most of the limitations I had. I was doing pretty well until this most recent blow to my spine.
I’m a person who views the glass as three quarters full and tries to spot the silver lining to any situation. So, I maintained that attitude while time warping my way back through time and space when my back recently got struck. Yes, it was a terrible experience—beyond painful. But more than a physical pain, the emotional floodgates it opened brought me to my knees.
Thankfully, there were friends with me who were able to step in and help. Aware of my history with spinal injuries, they helped ease what could have been an impossible situation. And me…. What did I glean from the event? Simple. I learned that it’s not only okay to flash to the past to resolve old injuries, but it’s actually advisable. For, until one grants him or her self the freedom to express all overtones of a past experience, that incident will forever remain in the side wings, waiting for just the right trigger to bring it to center stage.
I’m grateful for what I recently endured. What it taught me. How my friends were there to assist me in my time of need. But most of all, I’m thankful that I’ve finally put to rest all aspects of that horrible accident and all I’ve experienced as a result.
No comments:
Post a Comment