Monday, April 2, 2012

Yesterday, I blogged about what if our dogs could talk and were mad at us.  Wonder what they would say?  That thought in itself is rather disturbing.  After all...think of all our family dogs have seen, heard and smelled. 

Oh, my! 

But let’s take that concept one step further.  What if those same beloved family dogs that we bare our souls and everything else to learned how to blackmail us.  Could you imagine what an upside-down world that would create?

Think about it.  Dogs know everything, or just about, good, bad and crucifying about us.  As such, it would take very little for them to destroy the carefully put together reputations we’ve created for ourselves.  The images we present to the world while saving the “messier” less sophisticated sides of ourselves for when we’re behind closed doors at home with our loyal k-9s sitting by our sides watching, listening to and smelling everything we do not to mention, how we do it.

Now take all that meticulously sponged up information our loved dogs have on us and think about how easily they could bring us to our knees.   Corporate executives might not appear so invincible once the family dog spilled the dirt on them.  Once thought of prim and proper individuals could be revealed to be anything but simply by the dog telling all it knows.

Oh, dear!

Before long, it would be the dogs running the show instead of us.  No longer would they be content to curl at our feet on fluffy dogs beds.  Oh, no!  Instead, those loyal four-legged companions would demand chairs and sofas of their very own with us curled at their paws.

No longer would the dogs of the world be content to eat if and when their owners got around to it.  Instead, they’d demand the choicest cuts of meat served to their precise cooking instructions whenever the urge struck for them to dine.  Meanwhile, we mere humans would have to lie beside them, drooling, hoping upon all hope that we might please them enough to be granted one small token bite.

The term dog-eat-dog world would take on a whole new meaning with k-9s fiercely battling it out to see who could rule the pack.  In the meantime, we humans, their pets, would be relegated to hope for an evening stroll.  Be let out to go pee before our bladders burst.  Prove worthy enough to earn a chew toy only to be scolded when we tear it apart.  And lastly, we lowly humans would dare to hope to be brought in from inclement weather where we could warm our weary bones by a warm crackling fire.

With a humorous glimmer in my eye, I write this satirical piece.  But then…there’s a side of me that wonders….  What if dogs could learn to talk and blackmail us…?