I
love it when I’m afforded the opportunity to give back. Had the occasion to do so several times
yesterday. Later in the afternoon, one
friend was having a problem with their relationship, questioning the intentions
of their significant other. I calmly
listened to my friend, my heart going out to their pain, and then helped calm
their ruffled nerves by reminding them that their significant other loved them
and wouldn’t intentionally do anything to upset them. Give that person the benefit of the doubt and
to allow them to explain him or herself.
My friend listened to my calm voice and took my advice. Today, I was overjoyed to learn that
everything is fine between those two individuals.
Later
in the evening, I got together with three other friends. One of those has been having a tough time,
things from her past wanting to bubble to the surface at the oddest times,
triggered by who knows what, causing her to lose control and freak out. That happened last night.
All
of us were together, having a lovely time, when my girlfriend excused herself
to use the restroom. Time passed without
her returning. Her boyfriend went to
check on her. And then my other friend
and I heard it, the unmistakable sounds of my girlfriend so out of control as
to be thrashing about violently, fighting with demons from her past.
We
jumped up and rushed out to help. Like
me, this girlfriend has had a violent past, seasoned with events that have left
their indelible mark on her. Unlike me,
she is still crushed under the weight of many of those events. That’s where we, her friends, come in.
Something
had triggered a base reaction in her, summoning things from past experiences
that caused her fight or flight instinct to kick into high gear. Next we knew, she looked like a prize fighter
battling out the fight of her life as she tried to bolt and we, not wanting her
to drive in that state of mind, had to literally restrain her.
My
eyes filled with tears as my girlfriend struggled against us, for I knew she
wasn’t fighting us, but things that had happened long ago, events that had
scarred her. Fear has an amazing ability
to muster incredible strength in individuals.
My girlfriend was a prime example of that as she fought and flailed and
struck out, desperate to get away…to make the images from her past have less of
a hold on her.
We
reasoned and used calm voices. Her
resistance escalated. We became more
desperate to keep her there with us, fearing what would happen if she broke
free and got behind the wheel of her car….
In
the end, my girlfriend’s incredible strength waned, her body slumping in a
nearby chair. In her struggles, some of
her blows had connected, the worst of which was a solid right cross to her
boyfriend’s mouth. Did I mention she’s a
competent boxer?
Folding
herself against us and breaking into sobs that wracked her entire body, my
girlfriend didn’t recall striking her boyfriend or lashing out at the rest of
us, only that she had been desperate to get away. She was grateful that we hadn’t let her, knowing
that she’d been in no condition to drive, much less be alone.
We
four remained together for the next several hours, assuring my girlfriend that
she’d done nothing wrong. That she’d
been human. Had a bad reaction to scars
reopened—that was all. The rest of us
could relate and embraced her in our hearts.
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