Saturday, November 12, 2011

I blog a lot about helping one’s self to improve and of assisting others with the same.  What I haven’t touched on is when that someone else puts up walls of resistance. 

It’s one thing when someone resists help that wasn’t solicited.  But when they actively seek help from another and then conjure up excuse after excuse after yet more excuses as to why they can’t possibly improve upon themselves, my frustration level peaks.  Of course, there’s a good result from such.

Being a person who’s driven to succeed and allows my determination to assist in exacting my goals, encountering one who has requested my help and then digs their heels in through resistance makes my determination to succeed excel. 

There are times that’s enough.  That when I shut down every single one of the other person’s excuses, they finally back down, accepting the help that they requested.  Other times, try though I might, there’s just no getting around a person who is bent on getting in their own way, precluding any hope of self-improvement. 

On those occasions, I give it my best try.  But when it becomes evident that the person is unwilling to listen to reason, I point out such several times to them, along with the fact that if they continue to refuse my help, I will rescind it.  Sometimes that snaps the person’s focus into clearer vision, allowing them to understand that I’m only trying to provide that which I was asked to give.  Other times, the person remains too stubborn for his or her own good and I have to walk away.

Do I feel guilty when I have to give up?  No.  Do I feel a sense of failure?  No.  Why?  Because I know that when and if the other person gets ready to put in the effort needed to self-improve, they will let down their walls of resistance.  Then and only then, will it be possible for someone else to help him or her in his or her quest.