Wednesday, November 30, 2011

As a parent, there are certain things I’ve come to realize I have no affect on.  That are outside my control.  That I wish I could spare my children.  One doesn’t raise four kids without discovering this along the way.

When dawning realization set in that, no, I couldn’t spare my children from all of life’s woes, I had two choices, struggle against that reality or come to peace with it.  I chose the later.  Course this doesn’t mean that my heart doesn’t ache for my kids when something hurts them or when they’re ailing.  It does. 

But I realized that to get upset and fight against whatever is happening doesn’t help my children.  Instead, it detracts from my energy reserves and adds to whatever stress they’re enduring.

It took me a long time, but I finally learned to take a cleansing breath when faced with these situations and relax, allowing whatever is going to happen to play out.  By doing so, I’m better prepared to help my kids face whatever is needed and have the calm mindset needed to make it through.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t worry.  I do.  Or that I don’t get sad and frustrated sometimes.  I do.  But by adopting a more pragmatic mindset in these stressful situations, I’m able to compartmentalize my own feelings and do what’s needed to be the most helpful.  After all…isn’t that our primary job as parents—to be helpful?  To assist our children in their developmental journey? 

We may not be able to spare our kids from life’s woes, but how we opt to handle ourselves when faced with those situations goes a long ways towards either assisting or hindering our children.