Thursday, March 16, 2012

Years back, there was a television show where couples were videoed on their first date.  After the date ended, each participant was videoed while being asked how he or she thought the date went.  How they came off to the other person.  It was while watching this show that I became fascinated with how ill prepared individuals are to grasp how others perceive them.

What became clear was how some of the participants had never taken the time to ask others how they come across.  For if they had, they would’ve learned just how far off base they were with their self-perceptions.

Through the course of some of the dates, either the guy or girl would literally be rolling their eyes, excusing themselves to retreat to the sanctity of the restroom or give every known dating clue that things were not going well, indicating they wanted to bail out.  Yet the other person was clueless, believing they were enthralling the one they were instead boring to death. 

During the after-the-date interviews, it was painful to watch how, when faced with how the other person really felt about the date, some would literally cringe, so unaware.  Others, their all-about-them over-inflated egos running on hyper drive, would point out how clueless the other person was and be quick to find faults they could list to deflect.

The latter individuals missed the entire premise of the show—that folks need to make themselves aware of how they come across to others.  If people are unwilling to educate themselves as to how the world views them, then how can they ever hope to find a way to ingratiate themselves into the world in which they live?