Welcome to my World! I love to absorb my surroundings and people watch. I am fascinated by and embrace all walks of individuals. We all vary in our idiosyncratic ways yet are ultimately the same, striving to forge our way through this journey we call life, in the hopes that we might each self-actualize along the way.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am a writer, competitive long-distance runner, mother of four. I love challenging myself in all endeavors I engage in. I write novels. I run 100-120 miles per month and participate in races, half-marathons, full marathons and obstacle courses across the United States. have four children: a 25-year-old son, a 23-year-old daughter, a 21-year-old daughter and a 16-year-old son who is in high school.
I love to explore my surroundings and can often be found venturing out on lengthy treks of up to twenty-nine miles to traverse: mountains, streams, waterfalls, deserts, canyons, beaches and anywhere else that I can connect with nature to feel her pulse and be fed by her wisdom. Even the streets of the metropolis cities hold wonder for me, with their unique flow and energy.
I hope that you enjoy browsing through my web site for a glimpse into my world of never-ending adventures, perils and awakenings.
Cindy
Happy Halloween, all!This is an always has been one of my favorite holidays.One that I spend surrounded by family, baking, carving pumpkins, doling out candy to those who come to the door in their creative costumes and walking the neighborhood with my own kids when they were younger.
One of my favorite parts of this holiday is having the opportunity to dress up.Sooooo much fun.The attached photo is of me on Saturday night when I met up with a bunch of friends for a Halloween party.I hope you enjoy the photo.: )
Halloween is one of the few days each year, when I do no work.Instead, I treat myself to an entire day off.I hope all of you had a fun and safe holiday.And now I’ll end this blog so I can get back to relaxing and hanging with my family.
Having my daughter come home for a visit is awesome!She was stunned at how much Makaila, her niece, had grown in the month since she’d seen her last.And how does Kai feel about having her auntie here?It’s like they’ve never been apart, a strong bond having been forged between the two.
Then there’s the whole part about my girls being reunited.I swear, you’d think they were twins or something with how close they are.Every second they’re awake, they’re with one another, laughing, sharing with one another and ogling over Makaila.
My youngest son and I were running errands when my daughter arrived.And when we returned, the girls, no surprise, had taken Makaila out for a walk.My son and I waited and waited for what seemed like forever.And when the girls got back, it was cool to hear my youngest son, now a freshman in high school, literally squeal out his delight when he got to see his sister who had just come to visit.
Homecomings are always fun, and now, with Kai added into the equation, they’re even better.I get a real kick out of seeing everyone reconnect with one another while they marvel over all the developmental strides Makaila has made.
It’s hard to believe that my daughter will be heading out in just two days to return to her college.And with her, will be her sister and niece. I imagine the house is going to seem extra empty.But I’m not sad, for I know it will be overflowing with boisterousness by the end of next week when my daughter and granddaughter will return.
In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy what time I have with both my girls here.They’ve been helping my husband make homemade banana cupcakes with homemade banana spice frosting this afternoon.Later, we’ll all partake of some. Mmmm…can’t wait!We Hanna girls are especially fond of cake with butter cream frosting—this particular cake being one of our favorites.
Tomorrow, we’ll go trick-or-treating to celebrate baby Kai’s first Halloween.That’s going to be a blast, since we all love Halloween.After that, we’ll eke out as many memory-making moments as possible before my girls and granddaughter will head out on Monday.And undoubtedly, there will be plenty of great memories made before then that will keep us smiling until when we’re all together next.
There are those who stand firm in their conviction that in order for folks to have all sorts of“stuff” happening in their lives, swirling round them and kicking up a cloud of weirdness, then that person must have done something to bring it upon themselves.In some cases, I’d have to agree that this is, indeed, the case.Folks who like drama and chaos do have a tendency to go seeking it whether consciously or by chance.But then there are times when strange things just…happen.No rhyme or reason behind them, they just befall a person.
Me, I believe I’m in the latter category.I’m not a fan of chaos or drama, avoiding both like they’re the plague.But I do have odd occurrences happen to my all the time.Is there some way I’m bringing them about?Don’t think so.I mean really, how does one got about setting themselves up for a crushed main water pipe that springs a leak beneath their foundation?Or how does one bring about finding a good-sized black scorpion in their bathroom, two days after surgery…in the middle of the night…when they can barely move?Or how does one orchestrate getting attacked by some unknown insect so severely that they end up having to have their surgery postponed for a week while placed on heavy antibiotics?
Yes, there are times when the crud hits the fan because of something a person has done to bring that on.But there are and equal if not higher incident of times when, frankly, stuff just…happens.And the best way to deal with these incidents is to recognize them for what they are—freak acts of nature.
If you’ve been following my blogs for the past three weeks or so, then you know how strange things happen to me on a regular basis.Well, in fact, I suppose they always happen to me.I used to think that they came in waves, but I’ve reconsidered and come to the conclusion that my life is a never-ending rolling sea of odd occurrences.
Do I get upset?No.Instead, I find myself laughing—a lot. The way I look at it is I can either let the stream of odd things get me down, or laugh them off, maintaining a positive attitude in the process.I choose the latter.And, of course, fate puts that mentality to the test on a regular basis.
Case in point, in a three and a half week period, I was attacked by some unknown insect and had an adverse reaction that required my scheduled surgery to be postponed while I was placed on antibiotics for a week.
Still smiling.
Finishing that week and thinking things would calm down for me to go into surgery the next day, a main water pipe under our kitchen foundation sprung a leak.And this while my husband was out of state.That little fiasco rendered us without water for four days.During that time, I had my surgery and came home to recover to no water and a crew of plumbers armed with jackhammers.
Still laughing.
My kitchen is still torn asunder.The very kitchen that we just gutted and remodeled three years ago after saving for seven years to be able to do so.When will the reconstruction be complete?Who knows!When the crew filled the foot diameter holes they jack hammered in the foundation last week, it rained nearly every day, making it so the concrete wouldn’t completely dry.Until that happens, the flooring can’t be replaced.
Smiling at the irony.
And the prized wood cabinets and molding in said newly remodeled kitchen?Yup, you guessed it. They’re warped with the finish pealing off from the water that flooded our kitchen.
Still maintaining a sense of humor.
Then came the night I discovered a two-inch long ugly black scorpion in my bathroom, two days after my surgery…in the middle of the night…when I could barely move...and after never having laid eyes on one before during the ten years we’ve lived here.That was interesting.
Couldn’t help but laugh at how odd that was…even for me.
Then my husband left for Columbia.Once there, we got to experience the joys of non-existent Internet access, which made it impossible or him, my Webmaster, to post my blogs or communicate with me.Oh, and did I mention that the phones didn’t work either?Or his cell phone despite it having international coverage?
Yeah, that kept me laughing—a lot.
Then came my husband’s first communication with me—a text telling me that while walking a coffee plantation, he lost his footing on the slick steep mountainside and wrenched his knee.That they don’t have ice machines in the hotels.Or a freezer section in the market.Or those nifty little first-aid packets that become and instant icepack when cracked.
Oh, the fun continues. And yes, I’m still smiling.
Then there’s me.I’ve been recovering post surgery super fast, baffling my surgeon. I figure that’s a good thing.After all, if you’re going to baffle your doctor, might as well be this way.But…that changed…today when I had to go in for an unscheduled check up due to leakage.Now, leakage is not all that uncommon, following my particular surgery…unless you’re me.Then things get not only uncommon but also downright weird.
My incision began seeping a little late last night.So I called my surgeon’s office first thing this morning.They scheduled me to come in.When my doctor removed the surgical tape covering the incision, he seemed truly perplexed.Why?Because he couldn’t find any opening in the incision.Scratching his head, he wondered aloud how I could be leaking with no opening for the fluid to exit through.Is this odd?Oh, heck yeah!For me?Not even close, for odd things tend to happen to me all the time.So how do I cope?I keep smiling—a lot!
And I’m still smiling and can’t help but to be impressed with just how odd this latest occurrence is.
Then there’s my one daughter, away at college, who days ago was informed that she won’t be graduating at the end of this year as was hoped.She had transferred after her freshman year to a new college and some of the credits were lost in the process.Alas, what are you going to do?Happens all the time.My husband and I weren’t upset, but our daughter was.Well, more frustrated than upset.Couple that with her being homesick, and not a good situation.
So…my other daughter thought she and our granddaughter could go out for a cheer-you-up visit.All the plans got solidified, and they were to head out this coming Monday.Our daughter placed a call to her homesick sis to confirm.It was then that she was informed that her sister was coming home tomorrow.What?Seems she’d just broken up with her boyfriend of four years and needed to be home, surrounded by her family.
What happens next?Lord, that can be such a loaded question….But in the case of our girls, the one daughter will drive in tomorrow.It’ll be great to visit with her over the holiday weekend.Plus she’ll now be able to be a part of her niece’s first Halloween.Then, come Monday, both our girls will load up in their individual cars and tailgate back to where our daughter is going to school.Why?Well, because our one daughter had already made plans with folks and told them that she’d be coming out there for a visit with the baby, and everyone is so looking forward to their arrival.
Okay, I’ve got to admit that the irony in all of this has really got me smiling.
Here our one daughter and granddaughter were going out to cheer up our other daughter.But now our homesick daughter is coming home and will then tailgate with her sister for the long drive back out of state to help her with the baby.
Yup, this is how things roll in my family.Crazy, ever evolving and with never a dull moment, I laugh and smile my way through whatever comes my way.And best of all, my nucleus family laughs right along with me, even through the weirdness.
My son and I went on our date this afternoon to McDonald’s.Neither of us was very hungry, so we just got a snack.Munching on his fries, my son told me of a discussion he’d had with a fellow classmate earlier in the day.That individual was convinced that if a person ate at McDonalds, Carl’s Jr., Del Taco, or any other fast food restaurants, they would get fat.The person went on to claim that kids who partake of that food while growing up will have children who will also be overweight.
My son tried to explain that eating fast food in moderation would not make you or your offspring fat.But the other boy wouldn’t believe him, insisting that eating fast food at all was an automatic ticket to become overweight.And that’s when things got a little interesting.
The other boy, convinced that he was right, then called my son fat.Now that’s pretty funny, and my son found it such, for he is in top physical condition, active in sports and runs a six-minute mile—not exactly the makings of one who has a weight problem.The boy went on to tell my son that he, my son, was the problem with why everyone is fat in this country.
What?!
Instead of getting upset with the other boy, my son continued to try to reason that any food can make one fat, if it is consumed in excess.But if healthy eating habits are established and blended with regular exercise, then indulging in less-than-healthy foods every once in a while is fine.
The boy, however, wanted nothing to do with this line of reasoning, standing firm by his conviction that eating fast food, even once as he claimed, would make a person overweight.By this time, other students had joined in the discussion, also trying to convince the boy of the error in his thinking.None managed to get through to him, and so they eventually gave up, smiling and walking away.
There are times when there is just no reasoning with a stubborn individual.Matters not what statistics say, science has proven, or facts substantiate.When it comes right down to it, these individuals are so married to their own notions that they can’t see the truth staring them in the face.
I’m proud that my son and the other students tried to enlighten the boy by regurgitating actual facts and medical science findings to him.That it left little to no impression on the boy….Well, there’s not much to be done about that.At least they tried.And when it became clear that the boy was not interested in the truth, only in proving himself right, I’m proud that my son and the other students decided to walk away.
If there’s one thing I believe in more fiercely than most, it’s balance.Each of us wears a colorful selection of various hats, each depicting differing personas—roles we enact in our daily lives.Maintaining balance between those can be a challenge.Not only keeping up with the demands of each, but also managing to retain or even find who we are.
On any given day or hour, for that matter, we are pulled in different directions.One person needs us for this.Bosses dictate that we do our work more efficiently, saving the company money in the process.Our children keep us dancing on our toes as we struggle to keep up with their demands, often dropped upon us at the very last second, spinning us out of control.Our significant others expect us to make time for them.All this we do often with little or no encouragement.
And giving time to ourselves…yeah, right!
But, if we have a hope or a prayer of ever establishing balance in our lives/selves, we need to find a way to prioritize finding time for ourselves, doing the things that feed our souls.Will those directly benefit others?Probably not.And that’s not their purpose.Instead, we strive to address our own needs as a means to define who we are.Shore us up.Create a sense of self-confidence that will radiate from us, letting the world know that we are in control of ourselves.As such, dedicating time to our own preferences will benefit others, for as stronger more self-assured individuals, we will be better able to cope with all that our hectic lives demand of us.In the end, this will generate balance in all that we do.
For the first time since my surgery two weeks ago, I was able to sleep in my bed last night.Up till now, I’ve taken up residency on one of our sofas.Comfortable as it has been, it’s just not the same and doesn’t afford the same restful sleep.
Our bed is one that’s raised up, hence my not being able to get into it since my surgery.Normally, I don’t need a step to get into it, but post my operation, I couldn’t quite get in it without feeing pain.I did try, and once I was there, the whole how do I get out of bed was a bit perplexing, for my doctor has had me literally turning on my side and rolling over to get up in order to keep pressure off of my incision.Not the most comforting thing when you’re faced with being waaaaaay off the ground.
So, it’s been the sofa or a chair for my sleeping local for the past two weeks.But last night changed all of that, and I got the first solid night’s sleep in two weeks.And then it happened.As is often the case with me, my body, being introduced to the whole concept of sleeping, something it doesn’t get an overabundance of, decided to get greedy.Normally, I get four to five ours of sleep a night, and that’s plenty.That’s been the case the past few days.But today found me exhausted.I did something rare for me. I went in to take a nap in the afternoon, my daughter having volunteered to pick up her younger brother from school.The minute my head hit my pillow, in my very own bed, I was out cold.And that’s the way I remained for the next six hours, not moving a muscle!
As I mentioned, taking a nap is rare for me—something I maybe do once a year, and that’s when I’m sicker than a dog.So today was definitely strange.And as it got closer and closer to dinnertime, me still sound asleep, my kids wondered what they should do.Later, I found out that they discussed it and inferred from my sleeping that I was beyond exhausted and let me sleep, though they did keep checking on me to make sure I was okay, you know—still alive.
Waking up completely disoriented, I stumbled my way into the kitchen and we had dinner shortly thereafter.In our family, dinnertime is spent with all of us gathered around the table engaged with one another.And tonight was no exception, as it’s one of our favorite parts of the day.That’s when I learned about how my kids had wondered if they should wake me or not.I told them I was glad that they hadn’t.It’s been a couple of hours since I awoke, and I swear that if I poured myself back into bed, I could sleep straight through until the morning.And that I’ll most likely do in a short while.
The experts say that a person cannot stockpile on sleep, but I disagree.For me, it’s always been like this, very little sleep seven days a week for long months, and then one day, I feel the overwhelming need to sleep.Not that I’ve been dragging or run down prior.It’s just my body’s way of telling me that a nice stockpile is in order.And once I get that “fix,” I’m good to go for many more months.And this time, I’m oh, so grateful to be able to get that fix in my very own bed.What a treat!
Lately, I seem to be having the same conversations with a wide variety of folks.This time, it’s about moving past a situation that has stressed a relationship.We’ve all been here at some point or another.Whether it’s with our spouse, a friend, work colleague, etc, there comes a time when lines are crossed, feelings are hurt and animosity begins to fester.The question is not so much how to avoid it, for some level of this in inevitable, but how do the parties involved move forward once those lines have been crossed, feelings are hurt and animosity begins to foster?
There are those who simply walk away—forever, never once looking back.For some, that’s and easy task with no regrets or second thoughts.Others end up plagued with an inundation of mixed emotions, all stemming from wondering if they’ve done the right thing.But pride often gets in the way of them stepping up to correct the situation.
Others will go a different route, taking a break, effectively putting themselves in “time out” until they have the opportunity to process through all that has happened.How it has affected them.What they should do next.And only once the situation has been completely dissected by them, does that person attempt to reach out to rectify things.
Still other will have an emotional explosion that erupts without notice, spewing its molten ill will and bad vibes on any and everyone that it comes in contact with.This only worsens the already unstable situation, effectively adding fuel to the fire.
Which approach do I favor?I’m a fan of the self-issued time out approach.For with that method, I believe that each party has as chance to constructively process through all that has happened without lashing out at one another.And then, once they have collected their thoughts and reined in their emotions, they can sit down like rational adults and discuss things in an attempt to rectify the situation.In my opinion, this is how folks can most effectively move past a situation that has put a strain on the relationship.
But what say you?How do you move beyond a situation that has strained a relationship?
While reading today, I came across a passage in Incubus Dreams, written by Laurell K. Hamilton.I thought I’d share it, for it sums up exactly how I feel.
There comes a point where you just love someone.Not because they’re good or bad, or anything really.You just love them.It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever.It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other.It just means you love them.Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are.And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it.
I found it ironic to come across this passage, so out of place in the book, as it captured recurring sentiments I’ve shared with family and close friends of late.The passage doesn’t need deciphering or elaboration, so I won’t bother to try.Instead, I’ll end this blog and let those who read it come to their own conclusions.
I appreciate the ability to enter into a situation with an opened mind.Pass no judgment.Have no preconceived expectations.And to have a willingness to expand my horizons.
In today’s society, the norm often dictates that we conform to what is expected, the general flow of things.But where’s the fun in that?If we follow along blindly like a flock of mindless sheep, how do we ever expect to grow?Expand our knowledge?Push our boundaries?
I prefer taking a different approach.When faced with something new, instead of shying away from it, I jump in with both feet.I don’t allow stereotypes to influence how the affair will affect me.Instead, I absorb the situation as it plays out and glean what sensibilities it, not society’s expectations, expose me to.By doing so, I most often find myself enlightened in ways that I would have missed if I’d been close-minded and fettered by preconceived expectations.
By handing one’s self over to a given situation with an open and willing spirit, one allows themselves the latitude to experience things on a deeper level and gain profound insight.
Recently, I spoke with a friend about boundaries in relationships.We talked about how relationships can only survive if there are definite boundaries established and honored.Without those, chaos ensues.The relationship is weakened and eventually falls apart.
Different relationships require specific boundaries.For example, if you are mere colleagues, it’s inappropriate to go up to a co-worker and spill your guts about your most personal issues.Why?Because it puts undue pressure on the one having to listen.They have no commitment to you.No agreement that you will approach one another and air your “messiness.”Since no such parameters have been established, mere acquaintance boundaries need to be respected.Translation—you are cordial to on another.Perhaps you sit at the same table in the break room.Share snacks.But that’s where the relationship begins and ends.You do not have the right to use them as your personal dumping bag for all of your garbage.
There are, however, relationships where such an exchange of dumping garbage is acceptable.And that right there, is the key—a mutual dumping of garbage.In those relationships, it has been clearly established that such behavior is not only acceptable but also preferred, for in those relationships, each member takes turns shoring up the other.As such, balance is maintained.One does not dump, and dump and dump on the other, never taking a break to allow the other person a chance to unload whatever burdens they may be experiencing.
In order for a relationship to not only survive, but for it to thrive, each member must first nourish himself or herself.Doing so will allow them the fortitude necessary to give back to the relationship.Prioritizing nourishment of one’s self is a conscious effort.One that requires that the individual believe themselves worthy enough to prioritize self-nourishment.
When boundaries are clearly defined and honored in a relationship, that relationship is able to thrive.As such, solidarity can be achieved.With solidarity comes strength in unity—the greatest end goal of any relationship.
Many showed their support of tolerance today when they wore purple.What were they supporting?Gay teens who felt so unaccepted that the only option they saw…was suicide.Wearing purple today also offered support for those still alive and facing intolerance.
How do I know this?Because I was amongst those who proudly wore purple.Why?Because I have always and will continue to stand for the rights of individuals to openly express who they are at their core without fear of discrimination or retribution by church, state or society!
I find it sad that in this day and age, with how far we’ve progressed as a people, that there are still those threatened by individuals who are different than they are.The ones who don’t walk in harmony with society’s norms.Many maintain the opinion that “the different ones” have a choice.That they choose to be different.Really?Come on now.
It makes no sense for an individual to opt for the never-ending path of intolerance, bigotry and hatred lined by those who would oppose their openly expressing who they are at their core.It’s not easy to make a stand against the majority.Or at least the most vocal of the population.
So why did we wear purple today?To join our voices together as one mighty force to help spread awareness for folks to stop pointing the finger, passing judgment and acting out of fear.Instead, we who wore purple would like to see a world comprised of individuals who accept, embrace and empathize.
Why do I offer my support?Because I believe that we can create better times.A more accepting world. The education of others.And if all that begins with us wearing purple as a show of our solidarity, then so be it!
Since my surgery last Monday, I’ve been reminded to appreciate the simple things. I remember this same feeling after other surgeries I’ve had over the years.And each time, I’m grateful.Most might be upset or frustrated by having their life go from a million miles per hour to that of a snail’s pace where the tiniest task becomes a challenge.But not me.I’m thankful for the opportunity to reset my priorities—focus on the simplest things.
Unable to take a shower until my stitches were removed yesterday, I relished finally being able to have a stream of glorious water run over me instead of doing a piece-meal bathing.And then there was last night, when I figured a way to duplicate my being bent over at a forty-five degree angle while sleeping on my back instead of having to sleep in a reclined sitting position.Being able to get in an out of a car became an instant chore after my surgery.But with each passing day, I’m learning new ways to get in an out of vehicles with less discomfort and more ease.Having running water when I use the toilet or wash my hands has become an almost thrill after having to go without for four and a half days due to a broken main water pipe.And each day that passes, I find it easier to write.Though there are still lapses in being struck with what to write, the thoughts do come easier than they did in the first few days following my surgery.Tonight I reclaimed more of my regular schedule today when I attended my weekly writing critique group meeting.Man, that felt good.It was wonderful to resume going to something that’s such an integral part of my writing routine and process.
Slowly but surely, I’m reclaiming more of my pre-surgery life.And along the way, I’m relearning how to appreciate the little things on a monumental level.And that’s a good thing.
Getting through things.People go about this in a variety of manners.A couple of days ago, I blogged about how I had taken myself off my post-surgery pain meds—cold turkey—my method of getting through my recovery.Others may have finished the remainder of the prescription.Some may have needed more.Is one technique better than the other?No, just different.
Stress and pain, these are the key things people find themselves having to face.And each has a different technique for how they deal.Some may adopt carefully thought out plans.While others end up implementing spur-of-the-moment decisions that materialize when pushed to their limits.
Take for example the first-time mother who faithfully attends natural childbirth classes and swears she’ll endure the birthing experience natural, using no drugs of any kind.For nine long months, she remains dedicated to her plan.She goes into labor.Feels the first “real” labor pains kick in, and then her carefully thought out plan goes straight out the window when she grabs her husband by his shirt and growls, “Get my doctor!I neeeeeeeeed something for the pain!”
Was it wrong that she abandoned her plan?No!Did it diminish her initial resolve?No.Was her decision guided by an instinctual survival mode that kicked into high gear when her pain threshold was pushed to its max?Oh, yeah!And that’s okay.
Each person has his or her own method of dealing with pain.Some scream.Others rant.Some act like a hurt dog that crawls under the porch to be alone.And the manners in which people deal with stress are equally diverse.Some throw a fit.Others get angry.There are those who fall apart.Can’t sleep.Are incapable of doing their jobs.And then there are those who, when faced with pain or stress, appear, at least outwardly, like nothing is wrong, when on the inside, a massive implosion is taking place.
Coping techniques can drive folks to do things they normally wouldn’t when faced with situations that maximize their dealing capabilities.There are those who are quick to pass judgment, pointing an accusatory finger at individuals who lean towards methods of coping that they themselves find offensive or unacceptable.Me?I choose not to play that game, for I try to be empathetic with others.And if I can’t empathize with their plight, I remember my own humanness and foibles.How there are things that push me to my limits.Threaten to break me.By doing so, I’m able to show compassion to that person and understand that they may be executing coping techniques they might otherwise not.
Being an independent person, it’s a tough pill to swallow when I have to hand over my care to others.Part because I don’t want to be a burden or freak folks out, and partly because I don’t want to shatter the illusion that I’m superwoman.Going in for my surgery, I realized and was “gently” urged by many well-wishing friends to willingly give up that control so I could focus on relaxing and healing.
Much to everyone’s astonishment, I’ve done just that.And you know?I’ve even surprised myself with how well I’ve adapted to letting others take over for me.Has it been easy?Heck, no!Would I have been able to do this on my own?Absolutely not!
Since my surgery, I’ve had countless friends reach out to me.Some have reiterated their “gentle” reminders to let others help me. Others have encouraged me to hang in there.Take this time to heal instead of rushing through it, which would cause complications.But the one recurring thought expressed by all is that they’re relieved that I’m okay and headed on the road to recovery.
It’s those correspondences from well-wishing friends that makes my day.When I hear that they love me enough to “kick my rear and send me home” should they discover that I’m pushing myself too hard and fast, my heart soars.Some might get offended.Not me.Instead, I take what my friends have said as a show of their devotion.
And at the end of the day, that’s what’s it’s all about—knowing that there are those who think highly enough of you to watch out for you...just in case you might be tempted to side-step what should be that priority yourself.
There are those who, when handed a prescription for painkillers, are happy.Me…I’m not.Can’t stand the way they make me feel—sick to my stomach and not quite myself.Like everything is fuzzy around the edges.I’ve been this way for as long as I can recall, never adopting the mentality that it’s great to feel nothing or to have my senses dulled.
When I was younger and people I knew were into drugs, I could never understand what the appeal was, wondering why someone would willingly want to hand control of himself or herself over to…a chemical.Something they couldn’t control.Something that could make them do stupid things they’d end up remorseful for later.
I was the same with drinking.Never quite saw the appeal.Does that mean I didn’t drink when younger.No, I did.But after getting drunk a couple of times, I realized what a waste that was.To drink was expensive, took away my reasoning, impaired my judgment and made me feel like garbage the next day.And what I experienced while drinking…I couldn’t call that feeling good, for I believe the alcohol dulled my ability to feel much of anything.
Yup, that’s me, don’t smoke, do drugs and if I do drink, it’s perhaps one drink every six months.Can that be considered drinking?Guess I engage on those occasions just to remind myself of how little of an appeal alcohol has for me.Painkillers and any prescription drugs hold absolutely no appeal to me.
Of course, when faced with undergoing surgery, I realize there is a need for certain “maintenance” medications, and I agree to take them, well…sort of.The antibiotics, I take until they’re gone, just like I’m supposed to.But the pain meds…no way!I take them only when absolute necessary.Then I go off them cold turkey as soon as possible just as I did last night, believing that it’s better to feel a little pain and be aware than to feel nothing.
So that brings me full circle, my inability to understand how folks like or get addicted to painkillers.Not that I’m judging, or trying to make myself out to be a saint.Nothing could be farther from the truth.I just honestly don’t understand.And when I think of all those who have inclinations to lean towards those vises, I get sad, thinking about how much they’re missing and how at risk they’re putting themselves and possibly others.
Recently, I’ve found myself having the same conversation with various individuals.Though the actual details of those conversations differ slightly, a common thread runs through them all—differences.We’ve discussed how one person will view a situation one way, while another, exposed to the very same set of circumstances, will walk away with an entirely different impression.
Does this mean that one perspective is right?That one should be favored over another?That one person is right?The other wrong?All tough questions, each of which can be answered with yes…and also with no.And, of course, that depends on which view of the situation you’ve taken on.
Perhaps you’ve opted to see things in a broader, all-encompassing positive light, while another sees things from a more self-centered standpoint.Allow me to use an example.Suppose you’re caught in worse-than-usual traffic on your way to work.Turning on the news, you discover that there has been a terrible accident, involving one or more fatalities.What do you do?
You could get upset that your commute has taken longer than it should have.You could blame those involved.You could count your blessings that you weren’t amongst them.That you will live to see another day, even though you may end up arriving late to your destination.You could take a moment to send good thoughts to those involved and their loved ones.Or you could focus on the fact that you’re going to be late.
Arriving at work, you find that other colleagues have also been detained by the traffic.And here’s where differences kick into high gear.Some of those will opt to make the experience all about them, not bothering to empathize with those who lost their lives.And when you try to express how you’re not the least bit irritated by having been made late, they look at you completely dumb-founded, unable to comprehend your point of view.
Here’s another example.The different ways males versus females think about things.Do we both process situations?Yes.Do we do so in the same manner?Heck no!Never have.Never will.Does that make a woman’s thought process superior?Right?The only way?Or does it place the male’s perspective as paramount?
Actually, as far as I can see, the two can’t be compared, for the different manners in which men versus women think about things run on completely different planes, utterly parallel with no hope of ever crossing paths.Does this mean we should run around getting pissed off at the opposite sex on a regular basis?That men are insensitive cads incapable of reasonable thought?Or that women know everything?That once a male thinks they’ve figured out that female, she changes her opinion just to drive him crazy?Should we focus on the differences in the way we see things?In my opinion, no.
So what does it mean? I think it’s a great teaching tool for us.One meant to instruct us in tolerance and understanding.Well, understanding might be pushing things a bit.But we can at least concede that males and females think differently.And once we’ve acknowledged that fact—fact, not fiction—we owe it to ourselves to accept it as a given.Something we cannot change.And one we shouldn’t want to. For if we all thought the same and processed experiences in the same manner, where would be the diversity?The difference of opinion?The unique view of looking at things from another angle, one we might not have considered?
Perhaps what we should be doing is letting go our drive to prove that ours is the best point.The only correct one.And instead, we should agree that due to differences of opinion, people will occasionally clash.And that’s okay.What’s not okay is when the main focus gets placed on those differences, which causes friction and more opportunities to clash.
